25 Rules for Enjoying a Family Fight

Conflict will arise eventually wherever there is an ongoing relationship between two people. And if there is conflict, there are only two possible outcomes: Either we will both injure one other and sever ties with one another, or we will strengthen our bonds with one another as a result of the experience. Everything depends on whether we fight justly or justifiably.

Consider these options:

1. A gentle response defuses anger

The right kind of humor can be beneficial, but obviously jokes, sarcasm, and sarcastic remarks just add fuel to the fire.

2. Avoid generalizing, exaggerating or catastrophizing

Being disrespectful and manipulative by saying “it’s all my fault” The goal of playing the martyr is to gain sympathy at the price of finding a solution. Using the words “never” or “always” usually makes the other person defensive. Be sincere in how you feel. Don’t use tears as a means of control.

3. Remain in the here and now and leave the past behind.

Concentrate on the current problem. Stay away from saying, “I remember when…” Avoid gathering additional grievances or issues to use as leverage later.

4. Don’t attack the other person; instead, concentrate on the issue.

By doing so, you make your communication more likely to be understood by the other party. Don’t label or judge the other person or their personality or character. Keep outside opinions on the other party out of the debate.

5. Use “I Feel” instead of “You Should” when speaking.

Statements beginning with “I feel” help your message be understood in a non-defamatory way. Statements ending in “you should” cause the wrong emphasis, rage, and defensiveness.

6. Be ready to hear others out.

This entails paying attention to and validating the other person’s feelings in return. When compared to our own family members, we frequently listen to strangers or acquaintances better. Despite our familiarity, they deserve our same respect.

7. Avoid giving quiet treatment

Passive-aggressive behavior involves becoming cold and distant, which devalues the other person. It will only increase both parties’ resentment and hatred.

8. Don’t ignore or downplay the problem.

Running away to your mother’s house, choosing sexual interaction as a substitute for resolution, daydreaming, reasoning, or sulking are examples of this. Accept responsibility for starting a discussion to tackle the problem.

9. Avoid stuffing or separating your sorrow and anger.

The damn can create a path of devastation if it bursts! Never forget the proverb “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” If you notice that the other person is holding onto their grievances, take the effort to try to make amends.

10. Pursue conflict resolution in a timely manner

Delaying may make sense in some circumstances, but doing so can exacerbate the conflict. Observe the rule to never go to bed angry.

11. Be wise in choosing the timing for discussing an issue

The best course of action is to decide on a time together that allows for the most uninterrupted conversation. You need to get it out, but don’t pressurize the other person into talking about it. Discussion about a problem when one or both parties may be exhausted, anxious, or stressed is not advisable. Talking about a problem, especially one that is accompanied by strong emotions, should be done alone.

12. Don’t try to solve a problem if you are easily irritated.

“If you maintain your composure, you are wise; if not, you only demonstrate how foolish you are.”

13. Don’t Interrupt or retaliate if the other person is venting

Give the other person a chance to express their feelings or dissatisfaction in full. Make every effort not to personalize the dissatisfaction or rage of another individual. In other words, give it to them to own.

14. Develop healthy outlets for releasing strong emotions particularly anger

A stronger chance for resolution exists when anger is let out physically. Try jogging, walking, cycling, weight lifting, or any other form of activity when you are highly upset or frustrated before facing the issue. Communication that is secure, responsible, and healthy requires that you have control over your emotions.

15. Focus on one problem at a time.

Be clear, concise, and honest when expressing your complaint. Don’t bombard the other individual with too many complaints at once. Keep your focus until the problem is solved. Don’t emphasize your criticism by bringing up unrelated or problems that others may be having with this person.

16. Avoid mind-reading.

Do not assume what someone else will say, feel, or think. With people we know the best, we frequently make snap judgments rather than giving them another chance to speak.

17. You should never think that someone can read your mind.

Due to their intimate familiarity, many spouses assume that the other will make moral decisions for them.

19. Avoid shooting “Below The Beltline”

Comments below the beltline focus on retribution rather than settlement. Clean wounds may mend with time, but dirty wounds linger and spread infection. Don’t criticize sensitive regions or things that are beyond the other person’s control. Compare the amount of your complaint to the gravity of the situation.

19. Honestly express your feelings.

Focus on the main issue rather than any related or ancillary problems.

20. Don’t deny your spouse your love or their privileges.

Avoid attempting to punish your partner by refusing to give them physical intimacy like holding hands, kissing, or hugging. Don’t threaten or incite problems between married couples by refusing to engage in intimate relations.

21. Be humble when you are correct and accept responsibility when you are wrong.

Verify the veracity of complaints. When you are right, avoid “rubbing salt in the wound.” Don’t point out to the other person that they ought to have listened more intently in the past since you were correct. Being right is not as important as being in the proper relationship.

22. Avoid complaining unless you’re prepared to provide a compromise that would benefit both parties.

Request specific adjustments. Don’t expect everything to be fulfilled right now. Make it clear which problems were solved, what steps would be taken, and who will be in charge of each step.

23. Speak up when a rule is broken

Create an environment where both parties feel comfortable speaking up when a rule is breached. Respect each other enough to correct one other when necessary.

24. Always be ready to forgive

Many things about someone else may anger, annoy, or upset us. These things could call for patience and lack of forgiveness. If an act can be justified, it might be more appropriate to understand it than to forgive it. The basis for reconciliation is forgiveness. Not forgetting to remember, but remembering to forget, is what forgiveness entails. By saying “I forgive you,” I formally state that our disagreement is resolved. I won’t go over it again, evaluate it, or renew it.

25. Make eye contact with the other person

Maintaining eye contact can significantly enhance your communication. Maintaining eye contact shows respect for the speaker. Looking the person you are injuring in the eyes makes it tougher to commit a “foul”