Why Is It Important to Overcome Abandonment Issues Before Getting into a Relationship?

Departure leaves wounds. Since these scars are invisible to the unaided sight, they frequently fail to heal. Emotional wounds can manifest in many aspects of our lives and last a lifetime. Love connections can have a particularly negative impact on someone who is dealing with abandonment issues since they are intimate and demand vulnerability.

This can show up in romantic relationships as being clingy, suspicious of dishonesty, or having been betrayed. It may also manifest as someone who puts up with mistreatment or abuse from others. A person who encounters these problems frequently does not associate them with desertion.

Abandonment concerns are like flu symptoms in that they can be linked to a variety of other conditions and are therefore unrelated to a real and credible cause, which is abandonment. This is similar to how most sicknesses begin with flu-like symptoms but can be related to any number of ailments.

This post will cover how to deal with abandonment issues and how to support someone who is experiencing them so they can have a happy and fulfilling relationship.

Treating the symptoms isn’t enough

Prior to discussing how to manage concerns of abandonment, it is important to understand that addressing the symptoms on their own is not a sustainable solution. Any illness can never be completely treated until its underlying cause is found, and treating its symptoms can take years. If relationship desertion is the cause, we must also own it and take action to end the symptoms that persist.

If your parents abandoned you when you were a child, you probably went through a period of depression, anxiety, loneliness, rejection, and feeling unworthy. You also might have been abused by someone else.

These experiences can have lingering repercussions on you as an adult, which can manifest in your relationships and eventually in your marriage.

Recognize and address abandonment concerns before entering into a committed relationship.

Before moving forward, you must respond to the question, “Do I have abandonment issues?” If you don’t face and accept your ingrained emotions, you may find yourself in a repeating pattern of selecting unsuitable partners, which will eventually land you in an unhappy marriage.

In order to keep feelings of abandonment from persisting and negatively affecting a marriage, it’s critical to resolve abandonment issues. A transformed mindset can lead to altered conduct, resulting in more wholesome choices for relationships and marriage.

Get honest

Let’s talk about these flu-like symptoms, or our concerns and responses, when we go on a date or meet new people. Consider this:

What are your innermost thoughts?
Do they largely wonder if they will adore me for who I am or if I am good enough?
Do you actively choose the kind of partner you desire, or do you just accept their request to go on dates?
Are you, out of fear of losing them, excessively controlling or submissive?
Lastly, are you in an unhealthy relationship because you do not want to be alone, or do you conceal a deep reservoir of sorrow and sadness behind a smile?

This is your moment of truth if you said “yes” to any of these questions. You may have had abuse or relationship abandonment issues. Additionally, you must learn coping mechanisms for feelings of abandonment.

Healing and eradicating symptoms

In a relationship, how do you handle issues of abandonment? How do you start the healing process?

Acknowledgment is the first step toward healing. The way you see yourself, love, and marriage is the first step towards creating a stronger relationship, marriage, and emotional well-being.

Are you aware of your triggers?

The majority of victims of abuse and desertion have clear triggers. These triggers may be unconscious at first, but as you begin the healing process, you become acutely aware of them.

These feelings and ideas set off a chain of events that may be self-defeating or a kind of defense. After you’ve identified these triggers, you can take a moment to step back and objectively assess your feelings and ideas.

As a result, you can now react by passing through a mental filter that is conscious rather than emotional. Although our sentiments are real, this is not always the case.

The more you integrate this process into your healing, the more it will begin to eliminate the symptoms that eventually lead to illness (unhealthy partner selection and unhealthy marriages).

Happiness is a choice

You can now choose happiness if you’ve come to terms with and developed sensitivity to the triggers that were brought on by abuse and abandonment. If you’re single, you have the freedom to choose a partner based on healthier criteria because your decision won’t be driven by necessity.

Rather, it will stem from the need to just love and be loved. You are in charge of what you are prepared to accept and sure of what you should reject when your decision is driven by a genuine desire to be loved.

If you are married or in a relationship, you will now be able to recognize your triggers and modify your response since you will be filtering through wisdom instead of irrational feelings. I was in a bad marriage and bad dating relationship for a number of years.

I share in-depth insights of my feelings, thoughts, and you see, raw and honest challenges, of the decisions I made as a result of abuse and abandonment issues in my book, “Overcoming the Hand You Were Dealt.”

Therefore, whether you are married or single and trying to get married, have patience, take this time to figure out what kind of relationship you want, and remember that, if you so choose, happiness can be found on the other side of healing.

How to help someone with abandonment issues

Now that you know, you may address concerns related to abandonment. But what if the person you are dating has a history of abandonment? Male abandonment difficulties are common.

The reason for this is that males sometimes find it difficult to express themselves; if they experience a setback or traumatic event that causes them to develop abandonment issues, they may choose to hold it inside and remain silent.

Feeling left out in a relationship can be more common in men because of the stigma associated with the concept that men are emotional. Men who struggle with abandonment issues find it difficult to confide in others, which causes the problems to worsen.

You have to encourage a man you are dating who struggles with abandonment to talk to you. Urge him to discuss the incident that caused him to acquire this phobia.

Make sure he understands the impact abandonment issues have on relationships and the potential repercussions for your future together. When you say that, don’t give him the impression that you would give up on him as well if he stays silent.

This will make the fear much more intense. You have to reassure someone you love who has abandonment problems on a regular basis that you will be there for them. Your partner’s confidence will gradually grow, and the signs of abandonment worries will go away.

You could consult a therapist for advice on how to proceed while supporting your partner. You could also read some books on abandonment issues if you’re scared to do that. There is an abundance of knowledge available to help you, your spouse, and your relationship change.