Seven Reasons People Give For Staying in Unhappy Relationships

Thus, what ends up happening is that individuals continue to remain in an unpleasant marriage or relationship.

Even when it’s obvious to everyone around them that the pair is living in an unhappy relationship, they frequently find excuses to stay together—or even reasons not to end the partnership.

This essay will go over seven reasons why unhappy people continue to live together or continue in bad marriages.

If you’re in an unpleasant relationship, you might be able to identify some of these. If so, this could help you decide if it’s worth it to continue in the bad relationship and whether things will likely get better eventually.

1. “I fear what will happen if I leave.”

“Fear” is the main factor keeping couples in miserable relationships.

Fear, pure and simple, is most likely the main thing that holds people stuck. This is a perfectly legitimate and true feeling, particularly when it comes to being afraid of the unknown. Fear has the potential to spread exponentially if left unchecked.

It is common knowledge for people in abusive relationships that an enraged spouse may seek retribution, even to the point of endangering the life of the fleeing spouse. They so find themselves in a predicament where they are unable to escape their unhappy marriage.

No matter how bad a relationship goes, there will always be some risk associated in ending it. As such, it is a decision that should be thoroughly considered in light of your possibilities rather than made hastily.

One by one, list your anxieties and attempt to make the fear of living a lifelong unhappy relationship take precedence over the others.

2. “Really, it’s not that bad.”

One of the most common strategies for staying married while miserable is denial.

Perhaps if you just act like everything is okay, you’ll feel better. Since difficulties arise in all relationships, is it possible that your marriage is simply normal and that you are not like other unhappy married couples?

Perhaps it is “not that bad,” in which case you could continue. However, perhaps there is a small voice that is calling out from deep within, asking to be heard, “Surely this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be?”

If that’s how you feel, get researching. Find out about the relationships of your friends and acquaintances.

It might surprise you to learn that some of the things occurring in your marriage are anything but “normal,” which explains why you are unhappy.

3. “For the sake of the kids, we must stay together.”

Your children will be able to tell if you’re not happy together, no matter how hard you attempt to hide it.Youngsters tend to have a particularly sensitive and keen radar for hypocrisy or phoniness, as well as a highly developed radar.

Don’t expect them to understand if you try to educate them that “marriage is good and happy” when you are still living with their other parent or that “I hate being with your other parent, and I’m just sticking it out.”

“Every marriage is unhappy, so I might as well resign myself to the same fate one day,” they will surely discover.

Consider carefully whether the lack of true love and the unpleasant environment in your home will not undercut or sour the potential financial, economic, and physical benefits for your children should you stay together.

4. “If I leave, I will never be financially successful.”

Another important factor keeping unhappy marriages together is money. You will most likely have to reduce your level of living if you depart, and you won’t be able to continue living the way you have grown accustomed to.

Maybe you’ve been the primary breadwinner for your spouse for a long time, so leaving will force you to look for work again after years of taking care of the family.

This is a rather intimidating idea that might naturally generate a lot of hesitation. Or maybe you can’t afford to pay more maintenance and alimony on top of what you already owe from a prior divorce.

These are legitimate worries that require serious thought.

5. “I’m still hoping things will improve.”

Hope is a wonderful thing, and it sustains us during a lot of challenging times. But if you’re being really honest with yourself, are there any indications—no matter how slight—that your relationship might be changing in a positive way?

Or are you repeatedly getting into the same arguments? Have you visited a therapist or counselor? Or does your partner decline assistance because you, not them, are the one who has to change?

How long are you willing to wait to make changes in your relationship, and what will it take for things to become better?

6. “I can’t face the stigma of being divorced.”

It can feel like the worst thing ever to be a divorcee if you come from a conservative family where the term “divorce” is practically a swear word.

You might almost believe that a large red “D” would appear on your forehead upon divorce, telling the world that your marriage had failed.

This is untrue, and happily, the shame associated with divorce is rapidly diminishing in the modern era.

Divorce is a pretty humble process overall, but you don’t care as much about what other people think or say when you know that you are going through it for yourself.

7. “I have too much to lose.”

Ultimately, this is a question you will need to answer for yourself. Using a sheet of paper, draw a line through the center.

List the things you will lose if you leave in the first column and the things you will lose if you stay in the second column. Examine the two columns closely now, and decide which side is heavier.

The quantity of words or entries is irrelevant. Actually, “my sanity” might only appear in one entry in the second column. A decision must be made based on which way the scale tips.