Practical Tools to Grow your Love Bank

What are the similarities between relationships and financial planning? Both require ongoing oversight, focus, and consistency. You don’t just establish a bank account and then say, “Well, I’ve done it…that’s it,” and then you can sit back and relax. We are all aware that opening a bank account is simply the first step in a protracted process that involves keeping track of your expenditures and making regular deposits to increase your balance.

However, in many relationships, during the honeymoon period, partners simply sit back and declare, “I’ve done it…the end,” despite working so hard to be charming, kind, and attentive. It should come as no surprise that once the honeymoon period is over, the relationship will start to falter as friction and conflict start to appear.

Let’s stick with the financial portfolio comparison for the time being. Your security and trust in your financial future rise whenever you make regular deposits into your account. Since you still have a strong bank balance, it doesn’t seem to be too difficult when you subsequently need to make some withdrawals. Let’s assume, though, that you don’t have enough cash on hand and haven’t made enough deposits recently. When you then have to pay a significant debt, it results in a great deal of tension and worry about the future.

Similar to this, when a couple focuses on their relationship’s development and works consistently to increase their relationship portfolio with unwavering passion, they are making deposits into the “love bank.” They are sure in their love and trust for one another, therefore they swiftly recover from disagreements or disputes (which are unavoidable in any relationship). Every minor withdrawal (conflict) erodes their sense of safety and trust in the relationship, however, when there aren’t many deposits being made toward relationship growth.

How then may couples try to expand their network of relationships?

Here are 3 practical actions that couples may take on a regular basis to keep things positive in their union:

1. Rituals of connection

Every family has its own rituals, as do cultural traditions. These customs aim to strengthen the bonds between members of families, tribes, and cultures. An example of a conscious attempt to connect and check in with each individual at the end of a busy day is a family that gathers around the dinner table to talk about the events of the day.

As an anchor for their partnership, rituals of connection are crucial for couples to establish. Couples might establish rituals in their homes, such as taking a stroll every evening after work or preparing and sharing meals. These healthy rituals help couples better tune in to each other’s lives, feelings, and awareness, empathy, and understanding regardless of what happens throughout the day.

The yearning for connection rituals

  • Consistent,
  • Giving your mate uninterrupted, undivided attention
  • Achievable – something that can be incorporated realistically into your everyday life

2. Daily gratitude

The value of developing a daily appreciation habit cannot be overstated if you want to become a relationship millionaire. According to research, our brains have a leaning toward negative. Being aware of danger signs ensured our survival as cavemen and cavewomen, thus this served us well! However, it starts to erode the emotional stability of the relationship when we have a tendency to focus too much on the shortcomings of our partner while neglecting and ignoring the advantages.

You can rewire your brain from an anxious, fight-or-flight mode to a peaceful, secure, and uplifting mode by making gratitude a habit. Make it a point to recognize and praise 3 things about your partner’s considerate acts, words, and attributes at the conclusion of each day. The appreciation habit also teaches your mind to concentrate on selecting three wonderful traits rather than continually gathering information on the bad. This is a fantastic method to add more money to your love bank!

3. Listen attentively

The art of mindful, focused listening is quickly fading away. We now have more options to divide our attention among tasks, people, and relationships thanks to the invention of electronic devices. However, there are other factors at play as well. There’s a propensity to tune out what your partner is saying when you feel anxious or accused by them while your own particular story is playing in your head.

This could manifest as:

  • Knowing what someone else is thinking (“I know she must be thinking, he forgot to wash the dishes again!”)
  • Jumping to conclusions (“he must not love me because he didn’t want to go out to dinner with me last night”).
  • Filtering (selectively clinging to the one unfavorable thing your partner may have said amidst a sea of complimentary remarks)

All of these cognitive errors result from an anxious mind, which blocks communication between partners.

Make a conscious effort to listen intently when your partner is speaking. Maintain eye contact, demonstrate focus and attention with proper body language, and make an attempt to comprehend your partner’s perspective before offering quick fixes. Ask for clarifications after your partner has completed speaking so you may fully understand what was said. Also, reflect and mirror what you heard.

Your relationship will improve in happiness, health, and fulfillment if you regularly use these straightforward yet powerful methods!