Marital Separation: How it Helps and Hurts

The discussion of separation is actually one about separation in a relationship, both in terms of physical separation and emotional separation. In order to achieve the relationship’s overall goals, we will be talking about how to maintain an emotional bond while keeping a physical distance in this article. Therefore, maintaining, preserving, and eventually improving the emotional intimacy between two dedicated people is the Achilles heel to any separation of physical distance.

A warning

Let me first say that the concept of separation in the aforementioned context is flexible. It can take many forms, from the more conventional meaning of separation to a more straightforward scenario in which you leave the house in the middle of a heated dispute to “cool” off. Any marriage that wants to succeed must learn how to balance closeness and intimacy with the appropriate amount of separation and distance at the appropriate moments.

An innately useful instrument for the survival of their union has been produced by a couple who has mastered the utilization of distance in their relationship. On the other hand, a relationship that is unable to accept brief separations in their physical proximity is nearly invariably doomed.

Knowing and feeling when it is better to adopt the tactic of physical distance/separation is the opposite end of this. This notion is best shown by certain wedding customs, such as when the bride and groom stay apart the night before the wedding and don’t meet until the ceremony has started. Before engaging, withdrawing to oneself could be one of the most profoundly life-changing experiences a person can have. This is advantageous to the overall process of getting married and getting married in the first place. Moving forward with a lifelong commitment during this period of reflection, serious thought, and certainty that the soon-to-be newlyweds are making the “right” decision is a significant asset.

Despite the physical characteristics of emotional connection that were discussed in the preceding paragraphs, the remainder of this article focuses more on the conventional definition of a marriage separation. Although there is some flexibility in how this distinction is defined, we must first establish a few key elements to guide our discussion.

The divorce that we are discussing about always involves:

1. Some kind of physical separation
2. An agreed-upon, limited period of time that must be put up with.

The physical distance can take many different shapes, from sharing beds and sleeping on different sides of the house to completely moving to a different place. The agreed time can be set in either a strict chronological sense or a looser “we will know when we get there” sense.

How divorce may be painful

I want to start by discussing the drawbacks of marital separation because it is a highly risky strategy. It should only be applied in the most dire situations. those that I shall talk about later. The unnatural circumstances and false sense of hope it can inspire in a couple are the main reasons it is dangerous.

It is based on the lessons we have learned about long-distance relationships. They work well as long as the pair keeps their emotional and physical distance from one another. However, once that divide is closed, the nature of the connection as a whole is drastically changed. Many of these either don’t last or one or both partners develop incredibly maladaptive strategies to keep the distance constant. These strategies could include accepting a job with an absurd travel requirement or developing a need on ongoing extramarital affairs.

Therefore, a couple that reconciles after a brief separation may experience similar difficulties as a pair that is bridging a distance from a long-distance relationship. However, in this case, because there was marital strife prior to the separation, it may shock the couple into nihilism about the relationship when the reality of the old issues (and possibly new ones depending on how long the separation was) reappear. The latter stage is more challenging to recover from than if the pair had worked on their problems diligently without bringing up a separation.

Separation from your spouse may also increase your likelihood of having extramarital encounters. I can’t begin to express the harm I have seen people do to themselves when they repeatedly enter and exit emotionally charged relationships with little to no time spent by themselves in between. One needs this time to not only remove the old relationship out of their system, but also to mend any harm the connection may have done.

The best way to move from one relationship to the next, according to theory, is to spend some time by oneself, without dating anyone or actively considering the possibility of a new relationship. For a variety of reasons, however, the typical person typically does not take enough time away from relationships to heal, so that they even have any right to consider the possibility of a new relationship.

Loneliness is frequently to blame for this. With one or both of the couples being apart, loneliness is sure to manifest itself in some way. They are likely to seek out the solace of another to end their loneliness because they are committed to the separation and because it was likely their unfavorable feelings toward one another that caused it. As is the case in many of these circumstances, it usually starts out with them simply wanting someone to be physically present while their now-separated partner is not, but sooner or later they grow connected to this new (other) person. And now that other individual is a part of their union. The pair who succumbs to this struggle is in a much worse situation than the couple who “stuck it out” and never entered the dark world of separation in the first place. Another justification for why it’s not always a good idea to separate is this.

How divorce might be advantageous

The only situation in which I believe Separation is beneficial and perhaps even necessary is when there is a chance of physical harm. One might now think, “If the marriage has descended into physical violence, shouldn’t it just be ended?” My response is that there is a distinct distinction between a setting that is continuously abusive and one that could be harmful. Additionally, the choice of whether a couple should stay together rests entirely with the parties concerned. However, if the court has determined that they cannot be together because of a protection order, then is a completely different situation. Separation is therefore strongly advised in situations where there is a risk of violence, barring potentially illegal or life-threatening conditions, in order to help remove that risk from a partnership.

In this situation, the separation is being done for the children’s benefit in order to reduce or completely remove their exposure to seeing physical violence. It is essential that both parties or at least one get mental health care during such a separation. The treatment given in conjunction to the separation, not the separation alone, is what brings about healing. Here, the vacation/spiritual retreat’s guiding idea is applicable. In other words, it is occasionally important to remove oneself from their regular, routine environment in order to gain a deeper insight of oneself or their life.