Keep Your Relationship on a Solid Ground with These 4 Steps

When your connection with the one you truly love was brand-new, do you recall? It had a lively, optimistic vibe. As you got to know one another, you were inquisitive about all that was important to him or her and you listened intently and receptively to every idea, goal, and worry they expressed. You desired to assist and provide strength. It was clear that they had the same feelings for you, sharing your curiosity and commitment to learning about the things that are important to you. You two finally gained complete trust in one another since you shared so much. Together, you aspired to realise your greatest potential and vowed to stick by one another through good times and bad. You two couldn’t fathom your lives apart from one another.

The intense energy that drove your joy, vivacity, and curiosity gradually waned, and your relationship changed from being wonderful and thrilling to routine, comfortable, and predictable. Relationship quality time was lost due to life’s obstacles and other obligations; this was time when you could openly discuss the things that were most important to you both. At first, it was not apparent how badly the relationship itself was suffering.

Then, eventually, nervousness set in. Each expected the other to pick up the slack and shoulder a little bit more of the burden without explicitly saying so. Both of them soon anticipated the other to fill in the gap. Then they both accused the other of causing that deficiency. As you both tried to find a new equilibrium, a lower level comfort zone, you eventually wondered what gone wrong.

One’s (or both’) minds began to see the other’s minds as extensions of their own at some point in time and to some extent. When one person believes they have the authority to force their expectations on another, inappropriate expectations arise. Relationships suffer when one person places inappropriate expectations on another. Making the erroneous assumption that placing unreasonable expectations is essential and justified could lead to demands and threats. The relationship’s equilibrium is in jeopardy and could be lost.

In some circumstances, such as those between a parent and a small child, a citizen and law enforcement, or a supervisor and employee at work, it might be permissible to impose reasonable expectations on others. However, enforcing unreasonable demands by one person on the other diminishes the other and the relationship in intimate relationships between adults.

There is a bright side to everything. The transition from new and exciting to routine and predictable is crucial. Go all the way back to the beginning. Examine the relationship’s early circumstances in order to identify its bright spots. Do you recall the excitement, the intense interest, and the sensation of freely focusing your entire attention on each other and learning everything you could about one another? Well-being in partnerships starts with providing the necessary resources. However, how can we ignite fresh interest in someone we’ve known for a very long time?

Here are 4 keys to maintaining a strong foundation in your relationship.

Step 1:  Take time to privately figure out your current status

Determine your requirements, desires, worries, and wants, then put them in writing. Investigate carefully and impartially to discover the underlying reasons behind your own feelings. Let go of accumulated presumptions about who you should or shouldn’t be and take some time to consider what important to you right now. Give this task at least a few days to give you time to think it through, rethink, rewrite, and get everything straight. By learning, recognising, and accepting your own facts and truths, you can let go of your emotions. For this, self-reflection is quite effective.

Step 2: Talk about what you’ve learned about the new you.

Share your personal truths and speak the facts. Instead of interjecting while the other person is speaking, pay close attention and show sympathy. Laughter and smiles can help reduce stress. Continue to be inquisitive and offer each other your whole focus. Make a note. Put your queries in writing. Think back and support one another. Reconnect with each other.

Step 3:  Identify common aspirations and dreams

Pay attention to what really important. As you did in the beginning, discuss shared values, needs, worries, aspirations, hopes, and dreams. Agree to let things go that you don’t have in common (within reason).

Step 4:   Chart new paths toward manifesting your shared goals

When adult expectations are your own, then that’s acceptable. Create new routes to achieving your mutual aspirations. Each of you will inevitably grow reasonable expectations for yourselves in order to support the other in achieving your new goals, based on the lessons you have learned thus far in this process and working together to realise your new potentials. Observe how your expectations align with your partner’s. Now, reasonable expectations have been set. Work together to create a more fulfilling and healthy relationship.

Be unique. Treasure one another. Admire each other’s individuality. Together, keep striving for your greatest goals and assist one another in your rekindled partnership. Developing relationships is fulfilling. To preserve this lovely equilibrium in your dynamic connection with the love of your life (as well as with family, friends, coworkers, etc.), you might wish to repeat it frequently. Enjoy, as usual.