It’s Okay To Have A Childless Marriage

But you’ll have children eventually, right? Ask every family member, friend, and acquaintance you run into at the grocery store. The expression of disappointment on the asker’s face when the response is “no” or “we aren’t sure we want kids..” can lead to a variety of feelings for the person who is being asked. Whether you have been married for six months or six years, this is a topic couples cannot seem to avoid. It seems as though all of a sudden you are acting improperly or even against social conventions. You and your partner can even start to question your decisions and yourself. “Should we have kids?” “Is this the right choice?” “Will we regret this?”

The truth is that society does not sufficiently inform you that it is acceptable to be married but have no children. This is why:

1. Believe in yourself!

There is a solution if you and your spouse have discussed having children and have decided that it is not what you want at the moment, or perhaps even at all. The decision you and your spouse made together is what matters, not what your parents, grandparents, or closest friends think you should do. Marriage is about communication and mutual trust, not about other people. You should be pleased of yourselves for effectively handling this subject if you were able to have this conversation in an open and honest manner and come to a consensus.

2. It takes a lot of work to raise a family!

The choice to become a parent is a significant one that should not be taken lightly. Once kids are included, marriages undergo a variety of changes. Your patience will be put to the test, and having kids will challenge you and your partner in ways you have never been challenged before. If you and your spouse decide to have children entirely based on feelings motivated by societal expectations, this may be a stressor that you are not yet prepared to handle.

3. Your values don’t have to be the same as your family and friends!

There is nothing wrong with your friends or family prioritizing their families above all else! When you are invited to your friend’s child’s birthday party and are surrounded by other parents, it is simple to feel as though something is “wrong” because all you have to contribute is talk about your job, the trip you just took, or how you are thinking about getting a pet. It’s acceptable to prioritize your employment, free time, or your relationship with one another over the prospect of starting a family. Relationships are wonderful because they are not have to be all the same. So you can go home with your husband, put your feet up, and unwind in front of the TV while your best buddy is cleaning up after an undeniably busy birthday party. No guilt.

4. You’re living it!

Life is short; make the most of it. Make the necessary efforts to advance in your career. Travel if you want to see the globe. Go ahead and spend money on yourself instead of starting a family if that is what you want to do. You are just choosing to live your life how you want to, which is not selfish or indicative of poor character. The most crucial thing is that you and your spouse are acting on decisions you made together as a pair and doing what you both want to accomplish.

5. You can always have a change of mind!

Children may not have been a priority for you and your spouse early on in your marriage, but that may change as time goes on. The “biological clock” is no longer the only factor in beginning a family due to technological advancements and the availability of other family-starting options nowadays. If you and your partner believe you might desire children in the future, discuss your options with your healthcare providers so you have all the information you need to make an informed choice. Couples counseling is a fantastic place to talk about these choices in greater detail with a guiding, understanding, and qualified expert.

The most pleasant experience in someone’s life may be starting a family, but it is not for everyone. Therefore, keep in mind that while Aunt Susie’s pleasure is essential, it is not as vital as yours when she asks you and your spouse, “So, when will you start trying for a baby?” with that eager expression on her face.