Is It Okay to Date & Look for Better Prospects at the Same Time?

These days, there are a lot of people in the dating scene who are only here to pursue shiny items rather than genuinely seeking for a permanent relationship.

Is this you?

Furthermore, it’s not just about the guys who date women who chase after bright objects and who have a negative reputation in society. Millions of women chase after shiny objects on their own, even if they aren’t aware that they are doing it.

Are you genuinely dedicated to finding a meaningful and long-lasting relationship if you’re single and dating? Or are you pursuing what a lot of people call “the shiny objects in the dating world”?

Many people nowadays, particularly women, claim to be really searching for a meaningful and long-lasting relationship. However, their dating behaviour demonstrates the complete reverse.

First, let’s define what it means to chase shiny objects

In this instance, the next big, attractive lady as a male or the next hot, attractive hunk as a girl are shining items in the dating world.

Guys are claiming to be seeking committed, long-term love on dating websites in their profiles. In truth, though they may be together for a month or two, they are always watching, as it were, the corner of the ride, for the next dazzling object.

And women? They’re doing the same thing, oh my god. They claim to be seeking true love and have been dating for a month or two, yet they haven’t deleted their profile.

Alternatively, women are having open talks with other guys behind the guy they are dating again who might just be a little bit more successful, a little bit wealthier, or even have a little more status in their community.

The trend of constantly looking for better prospects

Many people deceive themselves and others by pretending to be in search of a fulfilling new relationship, but in reality, they are only seeking a rush of excitement. Their only goal is to determine how long it will take to discover something somewhat better than what they have “settled for” at this point.

About three years ago, a female customer who I worked with virtually told me she was over dating and was just looking for a wonderful man to settle down with. She claimed that since her prior spouses had never stepped up to be the best father they could be, it was time for her to take things seriously and provide her children with a strong role model.

So what do you think? She got to know the world’s most incredible man. He was put on the ground. an expert. He cherished her children. Nevertheless, she completely destroyed the relationship since, despite the fact that he could afford to provide for her luxurious lifestyle, she demanded complete care.

Her life’s ambition was to never work again, even if she never told him this. She thus made use of the money he possessed, all the while keeping an eye out for someone who may enter the picture holding a somewhat bigger pocketbook.

After noticing her lack of dedication after roughly five months, he let her leave. And she found someone else after moving up the financial scale in a matter of months. The really bad news is this. She advanced to a new level as soon as he ejected her after learning what he could sense from her actions.

She has been telling me, her counsellor, that she is genuinely seeking a lasting, profound love. However, she was deceiving both herself and me.

When she began talking about her failed relationships with girlfriends one day during our session, everything came to an abrupt stop. How envious she felt… How irate she was that she still had to provide for herself while several of her friends were getting their nails done, going to the gym, or organising their upcoming vacation. She continued to tell me how unjust it was.

She moved on to another doctor in around 30 days, but that relationship didn’t last long either.

Do you see how her words and actions were not in alignment?

The true reason for dating

Are you a lady who, despite the fact that you’re really simply attempting to climb the social or financial ladder until you hit the big time, is professing to the world that you desire a committed, long-term relationship with me?

And while I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating affluent people, if you want to cause drama and mayhem for all the guys who don’t make a million or two million dollars a year, well, then. You’re just caught up in the dating world’s rat race of pursuing the next shiny object; you’re not being honest with anyone, including yourself.

But there are other people to blame besides women for this.

One of my mail clients from Europe had gotten in touch with me, expressing his desire to discover true love and his tiredness with the dating scene and all the dating applications.

He therefore came to me in the hopes that I would have the secret recipe that he could just follow in order to discover that wonderful relationship.

I do possess the recipe, which he implemented, bringing with it one of the most grounded women I have ever spoken to. She was stunning, had a great career, didn’t party, and was willing to have a family if he desired one. She was also willing to just be in love, but here’s the thing: For him, that wasn’t sufficient.

After we had been dating for a month and a half, he wrote me an email informing me that he was having serious problems in his current relationship because every time they went out, his wandering eyes kept getting him into difficulty.

But it wasn’t the only time; once, while heading to the toilet in a classy restaurant, he gave one of his business cards to a woman at the bar who had struck up a conversation with him visually. Sadly, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, his girlfriend at the time witnessed him do this from the table she was seated at.

Her moral character was so strong that she ended the relationship that evening.

He was caught pursuing more glistening things. No matter how sorry he was, she was never going to fall back into that trap. What then is the story’s lesson?

Make the corrections you made to your dating profile.

If you aren’t living up to your words, delete any dating profile that indicates you’re seeking committed love right away. Just observe how you’ve been dating for the past two years. If you advertise yourself as someone seeking a committed relationship and declare yourself to be seeking profound love, but you realise that you are lying to yourself and to others when you look in the mirror, then something is wrong. Delete the profile.

Could you perhaps just rewrite it? I don’t care how old you are; if all you want is to date and aren’t interested in making a serious commitment, please be honest and indicate it in your profile. You might be sixty or seventy years old.

I often tell my clients that I don’t judge anyone for pursuing their dating goals; I only ask that they be true to themselves. Who knows, maybe being so honest will help you find a healthy place where you can live with integrity. Keep in mind that having integrity requires “walking the talk.” Just being upfront and honest about what you really want in a partner can boost your own self-esteem and confidence.

On the other hand, if you’re completely honest about what you want in a partner or in the dating scene, you won’t be shattering hearts or causing mayhem and turmoil.