How to Recognize Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Many people who read this headline will believe that it is difficult to ignore abuse in any form, including verbal and emotional abuse. Isn’t it so clear-cut? However, both victims and abusers alike often fail to recognize emotional and verbal abuse, despite the fact that it may seem unlikely to people who are fortunate enough to be in happy relationships.

What Does Verbal and Emotional Abuse Mean?

Before we can classify a behavior as abusive, we must evaluate a number of features of these “subtle” forms of abuse. Not every unpleasant feeling or harsh remark qualifies as abuse. However, even the most subtle words or sentences have the potential to be used as weapons, and they are abusive when done so with the purpose of controlling the victim, making them feel undeserving, and undermining their self-esteem.

When someone abuses someone emotionally, their sense of value is undermined.

The complex web of behaviors and interactions known as emotional abuse has the power to undermine the victim’s sense of confidence, self-worth, and psychological health. Through humiliating and emotionally taxing the victim, the abuser hopes to achieve total authority over them. It is any kind of mind games, insulting, and continuous, repetitive emotional blackmail.

A verbal abuse victim is attacked with words or silence.

As a subset of emotional abuse, verbal abuse is closely related to emotional abuse. A general definition of verbal abuse is an attack on the victim through words or silence. As with other forms of abuse, such behavior should not be called abuse but rather a normal, albeit unhealthy and occasionally immature, reaction if it occurs infrequently and is not done with the intention of dominating over the victim and establishing power via their humiliation.

Other than the victim and the abuser, few others see verbal abuse, which typically occurs behind closed doors. It generally happens when the victim is exceptionally joyful and content, or it happens out of the blue with no apparent reason. Furthermore, the abuser hardly rarely or never expresses regret to the victim or begs for forgiveness.

Additionally, the abuser steadily robs the victim of all sources of joy, confidence, and happiness by using words—or lack thereof—to show how much they despise their interests. The victim experiences similar things from friends and family, which eventually causes the victim to feel alone and alone in the world and that the abuser is the only person who supports them.

Who the partners are in the relationship and how it is defined belongs to the abuser. The perpetrator makes assumptions about the victim’s character, preferences, experiences, goals, and talents. This leads in an extremely unhealthy living environment for both the victim and the abuser, especially when combined with times when interactions appear to be normal.

How is it feasible for it to continue unnoticed?

Any type of abuser-victim relationship, including verbal abuse, has certain aspects that make these couples seem to be a perfect fit. The parties in these relationships often feel comfortable together, even though the contact itself is completely detrimental to their personal development and well-being.

The explanation is found in the initial motivation behind their initial meeting. In most cases, both parties gained knowledge about how to behave with someone close to them. The abuser taught that it is acceptable to talk down to their partner, while the victim learned that they must put up with insults and denigration. Furthermore, none of them fully understands this cognitive and emotional pattern.

Therefore, it may appear like torture to an outsider when verbal assault begins. And it is the majority of the time. However, the victim may not realize how bad such behavior truly is since they are so used to feeling unworthy and having to listen to disparaging remarks. Both suffer in different ways, and the abuse keeps them both stuck, preventing them from thriving or learning new social skills.

What can be done to stop it?

Since verbal abuse is typically simply one part of a generally dysfunctional relationship, there aren’t many things you can try to stop it. But if you’re experiencing verbal and emotional abuse, this could be a very dangerous place for you to be, therefore there are some precautions you can take to keep yourself safe.

First of all, keep in mind that you cannot rationally debate anything with someone who abuses words. Such a dispute has no end in sight. Instead, consider putting one of the next two into practice. First, insist politely and firmly that they cease calling you names and assigning you various blames. Just say, “Stop putting labels on me.” The only option left, though, is to quit the poisonous situation totally or take a break from it if that doesn’t work.