How to Heal From Childhood Traumas Before Getting Married

We marry our childhood wounds!

“Attention theory and unconscious mental models…our earliest relationships…not only influence how we are able to connect to others as adults—in romantic and other contexts—but also create internalized scripts or working models of how relationships work,” according to psychological research, explains why we marry our childhood wounds. Unconsciously, humans are drawn to the comfortable and known. This is great news for someone who is firmly bonded and whose main relationships have taught her that others are kind, trustworthy, and dependable. However, the familiar can be dangerous territory for those of us who have an unstable attachment.

Familiar territory can be dangerous

For me, the familiar was definitely scary. I gave my husband a choice after having my epiphany on the interstate: get help or get lost. He eventually recovered with the correct diagnosis (Bipolar II), medicine, counseling, and alternative healing. However, things don’t always turn out this way. My spouse has self-awareness and motivation, two qualities that are essential to rehabilitation. The ultimatum was the final straw, but he was sick of being miserable and knew he was a mess. Fortunately, he recovered, and today we have a solid marriage based on ten years of helping one other through the highs and lows of life. However, if we first healed our wounds in a different way before trying to marry them, we could all spare a great deal of suffering.

How then do we recover?

Two strategies are needed for trauma recovery that is truly complete. In order to pinpoint our problems and understand the links between our unconscious habits and our childhood traumas, traditional treatment is essential. It’s insufficient, though. Have you ever known someone who has seen a psychiatrist for decades yet has seen no progress? This is because trauma has an energy that, until it is cleared, we carry inside us, primarily in our chakras. Our root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras are where childhood trauma is stored.

Getting the energy from the trauma out of your system

Until that energy is released, it will keep driving our unconscious tendencies and resulting in worry, a lack of self-awareness, and low self-esteem, in that order. We require energy therapy in order to cleanse this energy. Acupuncture, Reiki, and emotional liberation technique are a few therapies that aim to realign our energy and/or eliminate energy blockages. Select a therapist while searching who has a Google business directory, social media presence, and at least twelve positive reviews. This guarantees that they are unable to exclude unfavorable reviews.

We can engage into partnerships and see warning signs once our scars have healed. We can then deliberately choose a companion who will reflect our healed selves. It’s important to keep in mind that we’re doing this for our future children as well as for ourselves. While “happily ever after” might be the ideal conclusion for fairy tales, halting the dysfunctional cycle is the first step toward a reality that any of us can attain.