How to Deal With an Angry Partner: 10 strategies

Anger is a strong emotion that, if left unchecked, can have devastating effects. Anger can spiral out of control, just like a forest fire does, destroying everything in its path, including homes, tall trees, and living things.

Maintaining a somewhat healthy relationship requires a great deal of intelligence, especially if you are in an intimate relationship with an angry wife or if your spouse struggles with anger management.

A common reason for marriage dissolution is that the partners did not know how to manage their anger or regulate their irritation in a partnership.

So continue reading if you’re wondering how to handle an irate spouse or how to manage anger in a relationship.

Ten dos and don’ts that can be useful while handling an irate partner are outlined in this article.

Can someone with anger issues change?

Hurt is the root of anger, and those who struggle with anger require a lot of compassion since they feel excluded and alone.

If they are prepared to take the tough route and put in the necessary effort on themselves, people with anger management issues can transform. Everything nice happens if they can shift their perspective and see the good aspects of who they are.

In addition, in order to manage their anger, those who struggle with it need to become more conscious of who they are, where they are, and what makes them angry.

How do you calm an angry partner down?

Anger management is difficult. Deciding what to say and when to say it can be quite important. The relationship will become stronger if you are willing to help your furious spouse feel better and are capable of doing so. This will establish faith and trust in your mate.

Expressions of anger breed negativity, but if you respond to them with love and respect, your relationship with your partner will undoubtedly improve.

How to deal with an angry partner: 10 strategies

It’s not easy to live with someone who struggles with anger management. Check out these ten suggestions for handling an irate husband or partner if your spouse is open to working on their issues and you want to support them:

1. Remain calm.

Are you curious about the best way to handle an irate husband or a wife who struggles with anger management? It’s easy: keep your cool and remain composed.

It’s true that managing an irate spouse can be challenging, particularly while they’re yelling at you, but the more composed you can be, the faster your partner will recover from their outburst.

In times of stress, maintaining composure is a useful tactic to employ temporarily. Screaming at each other will not lead to anything positive.

You can then discuss the situation in a more positive light once your partner has calmed down.

2. Avoid using fire to put out fire.

Keeping composed when interacting with an uncooperative spouse is the foundation of this next tip on handling an irate partner. It’s not helpful to become enraged in reaction to your partner’s rage.

Adding fuel to an already-existing fire will only make it burn longer and cause more severe damage in its aftermath. Give your mate space to be upset.

Your partner may be made aware of how horribly they are acting by the stark contrast between your composed, mature, and serene demeanor, which will help you deal with an angry spouse.

3. Do think about your own behavior

You must be brutally honest with yourself at this point. Does your partner get more angry with you or with whatever you are doing or not doing?

You have to be really careful here to avoid taking all the blame that your irate partner is so keen to offload, as their natural instinct is to point the finger at you or someone else for their outbursts.

Recall that you are solely accountable for your own deeds, not those of others. If you need to alter your behavior or provide an apology, take care of it and move on.

4. Don’t become co-dependent

Have you ever found yourself defending your irate spouse?

In the event that your irate spouse has verbally attacked and upset a friend or relative, do you discreetly approach the person and offer a “explanation” for why your partner didn’t truly mean what they said and that they are actually not that horrible?

Your spouse won’t be able to learn how to bear the full weight of the fallout from their rage in a marriage if you continue acting in this manner.

5. Do establish boundaries

Setting clear limits is crucial when dealing with an irate partner or expressing rage in a relationship.

Concerned about how to handle an irate individual in a relationship? Managing your anger with your partner begins with determining the boundaries of what you will and will not put up with, communicating it to them, and being ready to stand up for and uphold those boundaries.

Setting boundaries is a terrific approach to deal with a bad spouse and realize that respect is a prerequisite for all relationships to succeed.

Recall that setting and maintaining boundaries promotes and maintains good relationships rather than being a sign of selfishness.

6. Don’t tolerate disrespect and abuse

It would be important for one of your strategies for handling an irate spouse to be explicit about the difference between abuse and disrespect. As they say, abuse has no justification.

Do you let yourself belittled, yelled at, stonewalled, or subjected to any other kind of abuse—emotional, verbal, or physical—while interacting with an irate spouse or wife?

If you continue to put up with the mistreatment and abuse, you’re giving your irate spouse the impression that it’s acceptable. It is your responsibility to clarify that it isn’t.

7. Do cultivate compassion

When considering how to handle a spouse who has anger management issues, keep in mind that an angry person frequently feels deeply hurt and chooses to use their anger as a defense mechanism. They can get agitated as a protective strategy in response to even the smallest threat or unease.

Therefore, you might discover that a lot of the anger can be subsided if you can establish an emotional sense of security.

This can be accomplished by showing tolerance and compassion, listening intently, speaking kindly rather than harshly, and being real rather than caustic or ridiculing.

8. Don’t neglect to get help

In a marriage, managing anger can be difficult. Please get help if you find that being with your angry partner is starting to get to you and that you sometimes feel overwhelmed and helpless. Seek assistance from a therapist or counselor, or just talk to a reliable person.

Tell your partner how you feel and recommend that you get therapy together if your spouse is constantly upset. You don’t need to face hardships by yourself.

Obtaining an unbiased perspective is always beneficial since, when you are deeply involved in a problem, your ability to see things clearly may completely disappear.

Emotions such as shame, blame, depression, and a plethora of other negative emotions can quickly seep in like rising floodwaters, exacerbating an already challenging situation.

9. Do know when to walk away

There is hope, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, if your angry partner admits that they have a problem and is prepared to work on their anger issues and receive assistance.

However, you will have to make some tough choices if there is no admission of any mistake or if there is only a token apology without any genuine effort to make amends.

If you don’t know how to handle your anger, it will probably just get worse with time. Ask yourself if you can continue this way indefinitely. Should you respond negatively, it could be best for you to leave.

10. Don’t forget who you are

Having an irate partner can have serious consequences, one of which is that you could get upset yourself. Anger is, after all, highly transmissible. Remain true to who you know yourself to be at all times.

It is not your place to take on your partner’s wrath; it is theirs to cope with. You will teach your partner how to handle their emotions as long as you regularly and calmly communicate them in a responsible and constructive manner.


Resolving anger management difficulties varies greatly depending on the individual and situation. It may take several days, several weeks, or even several years.

Thus, if your significant other has a bad temper and you’re wondering how to handle an irate partner, try these suggestions and try to comprehend their underlying suffering while listening to them from a peaceful place. Be patient and, if necessary, accept the assistance of the licensed counselor.