How to Cope With Different Parenting Styles

Are you giving up hope because it feels like you and your spouse are at odds all the time over divergent parenting philosophies?

If feeding them isn’t the issue, then it’s about their sleeping schedules and, of course, discipline. Who would have guessed that team parenting would become so crucial and annoying all of a sudden?

Your parenting styles didn’t really matter before your children were born because you both assumed you would adjust to motherhood naturally, build bridges when necessary, and continue on your upward path.

Okay, so to speak: “Welcome to parenthood!”

For the majority of us, our own parents’ treatment of us is the only genuine first-hand knowledge we have of other parenting philosophies.

We might unconsciously adopt the parenting philosophies and practices of our ancestors, or we might instinctively take the opposite stand.

And then there are, of course, our individual peculiarities and character attributes that are relevant – twice, for each of you! It makes sense then that parenting conflicts are becoming more pronounced.

Your child’s growth will be significantly impacted by the parenting style you choose.

Therefore, you might find these seven guidelines and suggestions useful if you and your spouse are having trouble reconciling your disparate parenting philosophies.

To properly understand this idea, you should also read through some of the most recent parenting style research.

1. Know that it’s normal

It’s easy to feel like your marriage is the hardest thing you’ve ever done when you’re in the thick of things, pacing the floor at three in the morning with a wailing infant over your shoulder.

You may get heart palpitations and thoughts along the lines of “what is wrong with us, why can’t we just get along and be normal.”

The good news is that disparate parenting philosophies leading to issues are a common occurrence in even the healthiest marriages since it is impossible to reconcile two radically different people in a marriage without occasionally experiencing some sparks.

The problem lies not in the existence of differences but in how you resolve them and raise your children together.

It is important to emphasize that abuse of any kind—verbal, physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial—as well as addictions are not typical in marriages.

You must contact an emergency hotline, a licensed therapist, or a professional counselor as soon as possible.

The remainder of this post is intended for parents who are willing to adapt and who are actively addressing issues with their parenting and postpartum relationships.

2. Keep in mind that you are teammates.

Parents may feel as though they are in competition with one another when they cannot agree on how to raise their child.

Maybe you’re all frantically attempting to “win” the disagreement and demonstrate that your parenting approach is the greatest.

This is the moment to take a step back and realize that you are both on the same team and that there is no rivalry to emerge victorious.

Studies have shown that a variation in your parenting approaches could be the reason for your children’s behavioral problems or even the onset of symptoms of ADHD.

When you got married, you were both winners, and now you only need to concentrate on moving forward as a married couple, holding hands while you cherish and impart life lessons to your children.

3. Get to know where you are both coming from

As previously said, your approach to parenting will be greatly influenced by the type of upbringing you and your partner experienced.

Therefore, the best course of action in cases where parenting methods diverge is to learn about one another’s histories.Discuss your family’s past as well as the values and ideas you were raised with.

Maybe then it will be simpler to comprehend some of the perplexing and annoying viewpoints that your spouse clings to.

You might not be as judgmental and resentful of the other’s parenting approach if you get to know one another better.

You can help each other recognize how things that worked back then can operate slightly differently now as you express your thoughts and feelings.

4. Take some time to discuss it.

Arguing in front of your kids is one of the easiest mistakes you can make.

Younger children quickly pick up on disagreements between their parents.Additionally, they receive conflicting signals when there is open disagreement, which can cause uncertainty and confusion.

A skilled manipulator, older kids are especially great at setting up rivalries between their parents. When you have some alone time together, it is much preferable to take your time and work things out.

The kids will therefore be able to see that you are a united parent team and that you are supporting each other when you are with them.

5. Find a solution

A solution is preferable to the word “compromise” because it simply refers to coming up with a plan of action that benefits both of your parenting philosophies as well as your child.

What if your spouse enjoys spoiling the kids with treats and snacks but you can’t stand the thought of them eating unhealthy junk food on a daily basis?

Perhaps you could decide to have one special treat day per week, maybe on the weekend, and then maintain good health for the remainder of the week.

Alternatively, you may feel that your partner is overly strict with the kids and constantly criticizes them.

Decide which behaviors are worth challenging and which ones don’t after having a discussion. Put another way, pick your battles.

6. Keep going for the long run.

Recall that becoming a parent is a long-term journey rather than a quick sprint. Get ready and take it slow for the long run.

Remember that there will be plenty of sunny days ahead, so persevere through the rain. Because your children’s years are going by so rapidly, cherish each stage and season of their existence.

Even while it may seem like forever, a child will be crawling, racing off to preschool, and eventually high school, before you realize it.

So, as you go through your many parenting philosophies, remember that each one enhances the other, so embrace your diversity.

Additionally, keep in mind that your kids are picking up important life lessons from both of you as they watch and interact with your distinct parenting approaches.

7. Get help if necessary

Please don’t hesitate to seek assistance if you discover that parenting is causing a growing distance between you and your husband and that you are unable to resolve your issues.

Don’t battle alone; there is a lot of support available. Instead, look for a therapist or counselor who can assist you in reigniting and restoring the happiness and love you previously shared.

Regardless of your different parenting philosophies, you two will be able to parent together if you two are back on the same page, loving, teaching, and caring for your children as they need and deserve to be raised.