How to Build Deep Connections for Couples

What do you think about marital loneliness? What can partners do to resolve this problem?

In a marriage, a partner feels lonely since their spouse and they are not close. The two partners in the marriage are either not showing enough care (as demonstrated by: interest in the other person, engagement with them, investment in their well-being, and demonstrating affection and support) or they don’t understand each other very well (they don’t understand each other’s values, needs, dreams, fears, etc.). Determining whether the lack of intimacy is more on the “knowing” side or the “caring” side is, in my opinion, the first step in overcoming marital loneliness.

What suggestions would you make to help people create meaningful and lasting connections in every aspect of their lives?

Identifying the person in your life who would make a suitable “closeness partner” is the first step to creating meaningful and profound connections in all spheres of your life. This is frequently one’s spouse, but it can also be a relative, a friend, or a number of close ties. A good “closeness partner” would be someone who exhibits signs of wanting to get to know you better, is open to sharing personal information about themselves, is able to listen to you and retain what they have learned, and is emotionally capable of both giving and receiving care.

What should be done if one is trying to develop closeness while the other is moving away from them? How can one handle the trauma and hurt?

Naturally, you tend to be perplexed and question what’s really happening when you start to feel someone moving away from you. Avoiding panic is the first thing to do. For a variety of reasons, it might make things worse. First off, it could make you act in a way that seems unreasonable and put you in a position where you might end up doing more damage to the relationship than good. Second, by acting in this manner, your partner has the chance to disregard your worries and label you as “crazy.” Consider the facts and consider your interpretation of what they did.

Be patient with them and be ready for their explanations. Finally, if they still avoid you, there’s a good chance that the relationship is about to terminate. Take solace in the knowing that you handled the matter admirably at least through this terrible moment.

What is the one tip you would offer to everyone to help them stay happy?

The first thing I would advise is to quit blaming yourself if you’re battling with loneliness or feeling depressed due to a lack of satisfying relationships in your life. Relationships are more difficult now than they used to be for a variety of environmental factors (technology, living arrangements, etc.), and placing the blame on oneself (“I’m too shy,” “I need to try harder,” etc.) can just make things worse. Instead, think of yourself as a priceless person who deserves affection and companionship, and that loneliness is something that can be completely overcome outside of you. It will be explained to you in Stop Being Lonely.