From ME to WE: Tips for Adjusting in the FIRST Year of Marriage

My friends and coworkers have used terms like transition, compromise, bliss, challenging, demanding, labor-intensive, thrilling, tense, serene, and amazing to characterize the first year of marriage.

The majority of married couples concur that the first year of marriage can be filled with everything from joy and excitement to adjustment and change. The first year of marriage can be greatly impacted by blended families, first-time married couples, previously married couples, and family history. Every relationship will face its fair share of challenges as well as achievements.

Both my hubby and I are only children who have never been married or had children. As our second wedding anniversary approaches, we have gone through our fair share of ups and downs. When I think back on our first year of marriage, the terms communication, patience, selflessness, and adjustment come to mind.

Whether you courted for a brief period of time before getting married or dated for several years, the following advice will help you adjust and have a happy first year of marriage.

Create your own tradition

Common customs that have been ingrained in us from our families are daily routines and holidays. Your new family is receiving your customs, rituals, habits, backgrounds, and beliefs. These customs frequently collide, which may cause problems in a just formed marriage. Establish a fresh custom in your new household. Rather than being forced to decide which family’s holiday gathering to attend, throw a party with your new family, arrange trips, weekend getaways, or any other event that will deepen your relationship with your new husband. Keep in mind that your spouse is YOUR family and that they come first.

Discuss dreams and goals

Setting goals and dreaming never ends when you tie the knot. Now that you have a lifelong partner with whom to share your goals and desires, this is just the beginning. To hold each other accountable, make a strategy for the goals you want to accomplish together and put them in writing. It’s critical to have common goals when it comes to things like kids and money. Talk about your aspirations and objectives frequently.

Make lists of all your accomplishments and happy memories.

The challenges, complexities, and tragedies of life frequently cast a shadow over the happy times and modest victories we have. You will experience your fair share of challenges and tragedies as a pair, so whenever the chance arises, you must recognize and appreciate each other’s accomplishments, no matter how small.

Recently, my spouse and I developed a “Success Jar” in which we record happy moments or victories we’ve had together. At the end of the year, we want to take all the paper out of the jar and appreciate the wonderful moments we had together as a pair. Another wonderful custom is to commemorate your wedding anniversary!

Talk to each other frequently.

Communication is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone you love. There is one sharer and one listener while communicating as a pair. More significantly, keep in mind that you are listening to comprehend your spouse rather than to react when you are doing so. Having the awkward but necessary talks will make your relationship stronger. We must not harbor resentment, withhold our love and affection, or punish our spouses by remaining silent while communication is continuing. Talk to each other frequently, let things go, and never argue before bed.

Create a technology free evening

Even for family members, texting, social media, and email have replaced face-to-face communication in 2017.On a date night, how often have you witnessed a couple with their heads deep in their phones? There are many distractions in our lives, and frequently the largest one is technology, which also acts as a barrier to communication. Consider dedicating one evening every week, even if it’s just for a few hours, to being tech-free. Keep that fire going, date each other seriously, and give each other your whole attention.

Set aside “Me time” or time with friends

You are “one” after exchanging vows, yet preserving your uniqueness and individuality is crucial to your marriage. Feelings of regret, loss, resentment, rage, and frustration might arise when we neglect our individuality or lose our identity in our marriage. Setting aside time for ourselves also makes our hearts grow fonder and enables us to be more appreciative of our connection.

Marriages are not perfect, not even in the “blissful” first year. Recall that every day is unique and that every marriage is unique. It doesn’t make your first year any less memorable just because it wasn’t packed with expensive presents, romantic getaways, or roses. Aim for difficulties within the first year. Accept these difficulties and roadblocks as chances to develop your relationship. Establishing a solid, enduring, and affectionate marriage begins in the first year of marriage. Remind yourself that you are all on the same team no matter what comes your way.