Dos and Don’ts of Marital Communication

Marital communication is the foundation of a strong and thriving marriage.

Marriage is not always easy. It is also, for the most part, what gives our lives purpose, but let’s face it, it can be really difficult at times.

Therapists and marital counselors claim that poor communication between the partners frequently causes problems in marriages. Effective communication between partners is a fundamental component that is sometimes absent from unhappy relationships.

What is healthy marital communication in marriage?

Any manipulative or indirect communication is generally regarded as unhealthy and ineffective.

Long-term marital communication problems are a sign of a lack of love, respect, and trust in the partnership, which can ultimately result in a breakdown.

For this reason, improving communication within a partnership is essential to every happy marriage.

This indicates that honest, straightforward, tactful, and clear communication is essential for a successful marriage.

Marriage communication skills are not difficult to learn, but you must be deliberate in investing the time and effort required to find solutions for communication problems in marriages and relationships.

The article clarifies how to speak with your partner, the causes of poor communication in marriages, and strategies for building productive communication in unions.

The way we speak and the way we ought to speak

Let’s look at this example, which highlights marriage communication dos and don’ts and the need of improved communication, to better understand how to communicate with your spouse.

For example, let’s imagine that during a conversation between a husband and wife, she insisted on packing for a field trip in a way that he disagrees with.

Such a proposition (and many variations) have two possible responses: one that is straightforward and truthful, and the other that is damaging and indirect (either passive or hostile). Let’s examine our typical communication style and why it harms our relationships.

In this instance, the father might turn to face his son and remark, in an apparently lighthearted manner, “Yep, your momma always knows it all.”

This is an example of an indirect communication pattern that is widespread in marriages and frequently leads to increased dissatisfaction for both parties. Not only is it indirect, but it also incites a triangulation (in which a third family member participates in a communication between the spouses).

This interaction can be analyzed to show that the spouse was acting in a passive-aggressive manner.

He posed this as a joke and pretended to be speaking to his son instead of his wife in order to convey his disagreement in a very subtle way.

Therefore, if the wife responds angrily to this provocation, he can defend himself by saying that he was only kidding and chatting to their son, even though it is rather clear what he was doing.

You may argue that since he was at least attempting to avoid confrontation, this is not all that horrible.

But let’s take a closer look at this conversation. The spouse didn’t just express himself obliquely or in a passive-aggressive manner—he didn’t express his opinions at all.

He didn’t, in his perspective, offer a better packing method, nor did he voice his disapproval of his wife’s proposal—or, if that were the source of his irritation, the way she speaks to him.

His failure to communicate with her is a sign of poor marital communication.

How you should respond and not react

So how can you talk to your partner without monopolizing the conversation? Let’s examine how he might have responded differently in order to gain insight into how to improve communication in a relationship under similar circumstances.

This illustration demonstrates effective ways to communicate with your partner.

Since he took her tone as an attempt to expose his ineptitude, we may presume that he was genuinely irritated by it.

Then, you should reply something like this: “I feel talked down to and emasculated when you talk to me like that.

I no longer feel the need to take part in the preliminary work for the activity that I would normally love. Instead, I suggest that we divide up the assignments; you pack the items on my list that need to be brought with us.

I can rearrange three things in the trunk, and you can modify three things on that list. That way, neither of us will be shortchanged and there won’t be any arguments. Would you concur with that?

In his response, the husband demonstrated assertiveness by expressing his views, interpreting his wife’s tone, and outlining the repercussions of her actions for him.

Observe that he stuck to his experience rather than using the accusatory “you” words.

Then he offered a remedy, at last asking her to support him in that and giving her a chance to speak out against this idea.

Their sincere, straightforward, courteous, and fruitful communication helped them to solve a real-world issue without exaggerating its shortcomings.

Advice for enhancing marital communication

Being aggressive in a married relationship may seem hard to you and even strange. It is challenging to get there as well as to communicate calmly, assertively, and without seeming robotic with our loved ones—who frequently irritate us so much.

However, there’s no other way to communicate with your spouse than this, or else you’ll end up with arguments, bitterness, and possibly even distance.

Being aggressive allows you to communicate your feelings while also respecting theirs and your relationship. And this is by no means robotic; rather, you honor the other person you love, yourself, and your experiences, and you pave the way for honest and loving marital communication while resolving typical communication issues.

Here are some great marriage communication exercises that will help you and your partner interact more effectively on a daily basis and more spontaneously.

In addition to enhancing marital communication, it would be beneficial to look into some effective couple’s communication exercises that will support you both in building a happy and healthy marriage.

Five Rules for Effective Couples Communication

Although candid and impromptu communication is important in a marriage, there are also dos and don’ts in an honest, open, and successful partnership.

Check out these tips on what to keep in mind while you communicate with one another.

When discussing what you feel is missing from your talks, avoid reinforcing your perceived negative views. Your relationship will only grow more distant as a result of this.

Avoid being a frequent disrupter. Be a kind listener and avoid talking over your partner.

Do be considerate of one another’s availability for conversation.

Seek expert assistance to overcome negative communication habits and accomplish your communication objectives if you don’t feel like you can improve your spouse’s communication.

Please express your gratitude for your partner’s meager efforts, tiny triumphs, and joint success.

Do not be hard on yourself or your spouse when your well-laid plans fail. Avoid being rigid and judgmental. Recall that you are in charge of your emotions.

If you want to understand how to create a happy marriage and have good communication with your partner, you should read some of the finest marriage books. Perhaps you could spend some quality time reading together on your next date night to work on your marriage.

These are the most important steps in developing and maintaining good communication in a marriage, so don’t miss these dos and don’ts of communication skills.