Does Stubbornness Pay Off in a Relationship?

The act of being stubborn usually starts with a disagreement. Ordinary people don’t get obsessed with anything just because they’re bored or have a strong inclination to it. And, if sufficiently aroused, even the most sensible and patient people can become stubborn. You undoubtedly believe that there is a good reason for your activity as long as you are certain that what you are doing is “the right thing to do.” In reality, though, there isn’t.

What is the goal of my stubbornness?

What it really is is forcing your will or choice upon others. Your partner has two options when you insist on getting things your way: agree with you or disagree. Regretfully, instances of people cooperating in these situations are rather uncommon. Aggression, on the other hand, is a normal reaction and the other person responds in kind. Whether you are correct or incorrect at this stage is irrelevant, and a negative “game play” is initiated. There won’t be any important points agreed upon, spirits will be high, and unwelcome conclusions will be made. Thus, the next time you have the want to “act out,” consider asking yourself, “What do I hope to achieve by doing this?” Is “compliance,” “acceptance,” or anything else the answer to this question?

Determine the cause of the pattern of behavior. Some people see a dispute or a feeling of injustice as the forerunner, while others fear losing their foothold in a relationship. Individuals often exhibit stubbornness when they see a danger to their position. Although we may believe that maintaining certain habits or beliefs is essential to staying secure, this isn’t always the case. Thinking about the reasons behind our actions is ten times more beneficial than letting intuition or impulsive impulses get the better of us. There are several more ways to approach and persuade our partner if there is something we feel is important. Being stubborn is not the best approach to get anything, not even a simple “I’m sorry,” a new automobile, or even just a small attitude adjustment.

The art of letting go

Even while it might not seem like much, learning to let go of anything can be difficult, particularly if it’s something you firmly believe in. There are numerous circumstances in which you would be better off letting go, even though it may make sense for you to strictly adhere to your ideas and views. You also need to be able to perceive the wider picture in order to be able to accomplish this. Your goal should be the outcome, not the momentary satisfaction of winning someone over in a dispute.

Success has always stemmed from flexibility, even under different conditions. Relationships are not exempt from this. Maintaining a given course or set of rules may seem proper, but reality frequently deviates significantly from our perception of what is right. Being correct about something and forcing your viewpoint on others to get your way are two distinct things. Frequently, it has unfavorable outcomes instead. Therefore, consider whether you could achieve better results by giving up this conflict before you mistakenly continue in a particular way. Your goal should be the final product, and your perspective should be long-term focused.

Extremes are frequently linked to unfavorable outcomes. Any sort of stubbornness is by definition an extreme form of reaction, and not the most satisfying one. Finding the perfect balance is the real challenge, even though it can occasionally be helpful to show that you have a backbone and that you don’t give up on your rights at the slightest provocation from someone. Avoid overindulging in the act, channel your obstinate impulses toward productive and beneficial situations, and weigh your options before making a decision. Recall that having a strong will and being mule-headed are two different things!