Relation

Divorce Counseling: How a Divorce Counselor Can Help

For years, you and your partner have been fighting. The same difficulties and problems keep coming up without being solved. You interrupt and place blame on one another when you try to discuss these, which simply makes things worse.

There are numerous difficulties, including:

Money-related differences between you and your relationship include your desire to save more for the future and create financial security vs your partner’s desire to spend money and enjoy it now.

Sexual incompatibilities: You require emotional intimacy to have sex, but you feel distant, abandoned, unheard, and uncaring. Although you haven’t had any desire in sex in years, your spouse wants to have sex far more frequently than you do and tries to get close to you through sex.

Parenting problems: You and I have very different parenting philosophies; you are far more accepting, patient, and understanding. Your partner is more likely to enforce rigorous discipline, mimicking the upbringing they experienced.

Issues with mistrust, or lack thereof: Being reared in circumstances where there were frequent betrayals and boundary violations, you both entered the partnership with trust concerns.

What you’ve already done…

You’ve attended relationship seminars and read books on how to make your relationship better. Your partner has declined your invitations to the seminars and joint book readings, consistently stating that they are not interested in this. Additionally, they’ve referred to your interests and endeavors as a bunch of corny, New Age nonsense in some of their harsher and more derogatory moments. Sometimes they’ve made fun of your interest in spirituality, self-improvement, and self-discovery. You’ve made a few attempts at marital treatment. Both times, this didn’t last long because you all withdrew as soon as you got started.

You both gave reasons for stopping the procedure, including time restraints, financial issues, and disliking the therapist.

Why it didn’t work

Actually, it was probably out of dread of having to face your flaws, your involvement in the marital issues and disputes, your anxieties of intimacy, and the gap between your wants and requirements.

I’ve seen a lot of folks leave counseling, claiming the same reasons you two did, but I truly believe it was because of their worries. This is understandable given that counseling can be uncomfortable and requires effort and dedication in order to be effective.

Even while the situation has been painful over the years, it has become worse and is now at a point where it is almost intolerable. Both the frequency and the intensity of the arguments have risen. More swearing and slurs are being used. In other instances, things have been hurled, people have assaulted one another, and there have been threats spoken.

The fighting, the erratic behavior, and the general animosity that permeates the family are having a growing negative impact on your two children. While your daughter has grown more worried, uncommunicative, and withdrawn, your son is acting out more in class and bullying the other pupils. Her grades have also been declining.

You and your partner are in complete agreement that you are harming your children and one another. You and your children both want the excruciating anguish to end. You both agree that you wish to divorce one other and end your marriage.

What you’re asking yourself

You’re trying to figure out how to divorce with some kind of dignity, respect, and amicability.

Despite the fact that your prior attempts at therapy have not been successful, you are wondering if a therapist could help you achieve this.

You’re doubting whether or not divorce counseling even exists.

I’d say there is.

Role of a divorce counselor

Assist you in dividing your possessions and resources

Assist you in addressing child custody and the division of parental duties

Help and support you in deciding how to tell your kids about your decision.

Allow you to bring your kids in for a few sessions so that you may all talk about your suffering and worries related to your family’s breakup and the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

Talk about your regrets and remorse over your unmet and abandoned dreams, plans, and aspirations.

Set the tone for future encounters to be respectful and cooperative, given that you and your partner are permanently connected by your two children.

Make divorce considerably more affordable than hiring more expensive attorneys and going through a protracted, drawn-out, and contentious procedure.

Show your kids that assistance is available.

Establish the groundwork for peaceful co-parenting

Reassure your children that you are attempting to cooperate and that you are concerned for their safety.

Divorce is a difficult process, no matter how you experience it and even if it’s for the best. Your marriage, which was once characterized by love, encouragement, hope, certainty, and dreams, is ending.

As said above, divorce therapy has a lot of advantages and can ease a very difficult process. Additionally, it will improve the likelihood that you and your partner keep your issues between the two of you and do not force your kids to choose sides or place them in the middle of your disagreement. To ensure their welfare, this is crucial.