Can your Partner Make you Happy?

Can you find happiness in anything other than yourself? I believe that most people have been conditioned to think that it can.

How frequently do you find yourself saying things like, “If only I had this or that person or thing, everything would be fine; if only this or that changed, my life would be perfect?”?

We have been hearing tales about a flawless prince or princess who will come into our lives one day and fix everything miraculously since we were very small. The media is flooded with images of the things we want, the perfect vacation we should have, and “an amazing body to get in just 30 days” to make our lives complete and happy.

You can’t find happiness in anything or anyone. You must do this task on your own.

It’s really risky to wait for someone to make you happy. Consider this. In the same way that someone can make you happy, they can also make you unhappy.

I can’t even count how many times my clients have said to me, “She irritates me,” “He irritates me,” “If only he/she did this or that, I would be so happy,” or “He/she makes me miserable.”

Nobody can “make you” anything

If you think they can, you’re ceding control. It’s like handing over the remote control to someone else. They determine how you feel, how your day will go, and how happy you will be. They have the power to transform your ideal life into misery with one uncomplicated word or deed.

Additionally, it places a tremendous lot of responsibility on the two of you. If your partner is in charge of your happiness, you are in charge of theirs as well. Really, do you want to do it? Do you want to constantly consider what to say, what to do, and how to act in order to live up to the expectations of your loved ones?

Being everything to someone else could seem alluring at first, but it can eventually become very taxing and unpleasant. You start organizing, making concessions, and bargaining every action to put things right. To avoid “hurting your partner’s feelings,” you can even start lying or hiding the truth. The world you made to “make your partner happy” can turn out to be a prison, trapping you inside. You might be angry with yourself and your partner for it.

Another option exists. the practice of being accountable for your own happiness. That seems impossible. Consider this. You are unable to direct everyone and everything around you to act in a way that “satisfies” you. It’s possible, but it never succeeds. One day, your ideal companion can decide to leave you, fall ill, or just have a terrible day. Your “perfect vacation” could be interrupted by rain, your “perfect car” could lose some of its perfection, or your neighbors could purchase a better vehicle.

Recognize your power

The only thing you have control over is how you respond to a circumstance; all other factors are beyond your control. Your true power lies in this. Never allow anyone tell you who you are or how you should live your life. No one should be able to “make you” happy or unhappy. Understand your own morals; determine what matters most to you in life and put your attention there. Don’t linger on unpleasant behavior or bad weather because you can’t do anything about it. Your time and effort would be in vain.