Can Relationship Counseling Hurt Your Marriage?

There are situations where partners experience ongoing disputes that cause rifts between them and ultimately culminate in divorce. However, some couples believe that divorce is not an option and look for other solutions to their relationship problems.

For instance, relationship counselling is one of the best methods for assisting couples in locating almost ideal answers to their issues. And if you approach your friends and family for advice, they’ll likely advise you to look into marriage counselling as one of the solutions.

In some instances, people put their trust in the therapists’ professional knowledge without knowing it or for any other reason.

To ask the proper questions and find the best solution for your issue, you must first comprehend the overall goal of couple counselling. Since every relationship is different, so too are the issues it faces and the solutions it finds.

What is Relationship Counseling

Counselling for relationships is a form of talk therapy. Here, both partners have the opportunity to examine the various dynamics of their union and comprehend the various forms of individual relationships.

The couples’ relationship counsellors will guide the partners through their issues gradually over the course of numerous confidential and secure conversation sessions.

Talking about your troubles with someone else can help you understand them better and find alternative solutions.

Fighting couples frequently use the most unacceptable language, but they do it when they are angry or upset. The words chosen in a conversation or during a heated exchange can help or hurt the situation.

Later, when you think back on the same circumstance, you’ll see how immature you were acting. Moreover, how improperly you handled the circumstance.

In relationship counselling sessions, the therapist will assist you in gaining a new perspective on the problems and provide advice on how to handle them better.

Couples Therapy vs. Marriage Counseling

Understanding the distinction between couples therapy and marital counselling is crucial before venturing further into the advantages and efficacy of relationship counselling. Usually, these two terms are confused. But I can promise you that there is a very slight distinction between them.

Hence, relationship counselling or marital counselling should be the first step.

Marriage counselling does not go into the past of the partners, focusing rather on the current sequence of events.Ongoing problems are addressed through remedies or solutions. In a way, it is similar to treating the symptoms of cancer while ignoring the actual cancer.

Contrarily, couples therapy will address the main issue causing the tension in the relationship. Counsellors for couples believe that every issue that is now being addressed has a past that has contributed to the development of the destructive behaviours in the relationship.

Both processes depend on the unhappy couples themselves and are ongoing. Additionally, they also aim to assist couples in overcoming emotional and psychological challenges to their marriage.

Let’s move on to the next crucial topic for discussion: Does marriage counselling actually work? Or is couples therapy effective?

How Effective is Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling’s main goal is to strengthen your marriage. Marriage counselling has a very promising success rate.

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

As was already said, the effectiveness of marriage counselling largely depends on the responses the partners provide during each session.

Let’s understand the different types of reactions one can witness during such couples counseling sessions.

1. Someone is Not Interested in Counseling

When both the husband and the wife are willing to seek counselling to address the problems in their marriage, relationship therapy is most effective. Counselling might become harder than it needs to be if one individual is not engaged in the process.

Couples are expected to discuss their problems, listen to one another, and complete any required tasks during counselling in order to mend their marriage. The necessary outcomes won’t be evident if one individual isn’t invested in the process.

2. Someone Does not Want the Marriage to Work

It might happen that one or even both partners in a marriage decide that their union is over. Counselling is sought after for various reasons, including to please the other spouse, family, or for religious reasons.

When someone believes their marriage is over, they won’t see the use of counselling and will instead be going through the motions. The other partner, the counsellor, as well as the counselling session, could all easily become frustrated by this.

3. Someone has Ulterior Motives

The goal of relationship counselling is to get both parties to enlist a neutral third party’s assistance in mending their relationship. Counselling is a collaborative effort with a win-win goal.

Counselling will be less helpful, however, if someone has a hidden agenda, such as wanting to convince the spouse that they are right or to prove that they are correct. In some cases, a spouse may utilise counselling as a means of disclosing to the other that he or she wants a divorce or is having an affair. The idea is that the other spouse will be constrained in how they respond when the other is with a third person.

Whatever the hidden agenda, this could cause more harm. Additionally, there are certain outside variables, such a biassed relationship counsellor.

4. A Biased Marriage Counselor

A marriage counsellor who is objective and works from a position of neutrality to assist the couple in resolving their concerns is ideal.

The counselling process is jeopardised if a marriage counsellor, whether overtly or covertly, exhibits behaviours or employs language that can lead one spouse to assume that the counsellor is on one side.

This can occur when a marriage counsellor was chosen by one spouse without consulting the other spouse or when counselling was overseen by a person who knew the couple well.