Best Ways to Protect Yourself From an Abusive Partner

Your top aim should be to end the relationship in a way that safeguards your safety and well-being if your spouse is abusive.

You must remove yourself from the situation with extreme caution because, as statistics demonstrate, leaving the abuser increases your chance of being a victim of violence—even violent crimes that can be fatal.

When you decide to end the relationship—a move that could save your life—follow these tips to safeguard yourself from your violent spouse.

What is abuse in relationships?

Any act of physical, psychological, or sexual aggression that takes place in a relationship is considered abuse. It might occur in a single episode, over time, or repeatedly from one person to another.

While abuse can happen to anyone at any point in their life, it is more prevalent in relationships when the abuser is a family member or close friend.

Five indicators that your partner is abusive

If you suspect your partner is abusing you, be aware of these five signs:

Your spouse has financial influence over you.
Your spouse separates you from your loved ones and friends.
Your partner makes you have sex against your will.
Your partner uses drugs or alcohol to dominate you.
They threaten you with violence or bodily harm if you don’t comply.

Five physiological and physical repercussions of relationship abuse

There are numerous ways in which an abusive partner can harm their partner’s health, both mentally and physically. Serious instances of these impacts may lead to the person developing suicidal thoughts and feelings. The good news is that you may overcome the psychological and physical impacts of abuse and that treatment is accessible.

11 strategies to keep yourself safe from an abusive spouse

You can take precautions to safeguard yourself from an abusive husband when you are in a terrible relationship. How can one leave a violent relationship? Here are eleven strategies to keep an abusive relationship at bay:

1. Protect yourself as you prepare to leave

As soon as possible, start putting some money away in a secure location—preferably not the home you share with the abuser—because you will need access to it when you escape. He will know that you intend to leave if he finds your hidden money cache, and violence is likely to break out.

You can leave the money with someone you trust and who will be able to get it back to you if you want to protect yourself from an abusive partner.

In your secret location, you should also have some clothing, a burner phone, and necessities like toiletries and any prescribed medications. Make copies of all the significant documents in your life, including your marriage license, birth certificate, and house deed. Make sure you have your driver’s license and passport with you in case you need to depart right away.

2. Create a secret phrase.

Make up a code word, like “Oh, we ran out of peanut butter.” “I’ll have to head to the store,” which you can say to loved ones over the phone or by text.

If you feel that your abuser is going to hurt you, utilize this. They will understand that you are in danger and that they must contact the police as a result.

3. Avoid going to locations where your abuser could harm you.

Leave the kitchen immediately, as items like knives, bottles, and scissors could be used against you. Avoid being cornered in a small location where you can’t move to escape his violence; instead, attempt to stay close to the door so you may escape as soon as possible.

Go to a room that has a sturdy, locked door if you can, and use your cell phone to make an emergency call. When a violent partner is staying at your house, always have your cell phone with you.

4. Document every instance of abuse.

If it’s safe to do so, you can record this or retain a written copy in a hidden location. You can accomplish this by covertly activating the phone’s camera for video. Naturally, you won’t be filming your abuser, but it will detect a recording of his mistreatment.

However, if doing so puts you in danger, do not do it.

5. Obtain a protective order

After you have left your abuser, obtain a restraining or protective order against your partner. This should not offer you a false sense of security, as an abuser who is mentally unstable might disregard the directive.

Make sure you notify the authorities each time your abuser contacts or approaches you in defiance of the order.

6. Get a new phone

Change your phone number and dispose of your phone in a public garbage can (as opposed to your parent’s or friend’s house, where he will be able to track you down) in case he has placed a tracker on it. Never answer a call that doesn’t identify the caller.

7. Modify all of your passwords and usernames.

It’s possible that your abuser set up a keylogger on your home computer, giving him access to all of your internet account credentials, including Facebook and email.

To prevent your abuser from knowing where you are and who you could be with, make sure that Facebook, Instagram, and all other social media accounts are private. Advise friends with open accounts not to share any pictures in which they feature.

If there is a chance that your abuser would view the pictures online, it is best to avoid being photographed.

8. Open a bank account and credit card on your own.

Now is the moment to open your personal bank account if you and your partner share one. You want your own credit cards and bank account since your abuser can monitor your transactions and cash withdrawals.

9. Report the abuse to a family member or someone you can trust.

It might be crucial to have the support of friends and family whether you are in a challenging relationship or are divorcing an abusive partner. Being in the company of supportive others can boost your self-esteem and give you the strength to survive the negative impacts of an abusive relationship.

10. Consult a reliable professional for assistance.

Speaking with a medical practitioner, social worker, or counselor can help you identify resources for relationship counseling as well as support in escaping the negative impacts of an abusive relationship. Also, they can offer guidance on what to do in the event that the abuse persists.

11. Find a lodging option

Find a place to stay where your violent partner cannot find you before you leave the house. Usually, this is a shelter for battered women.

Avoid going to your friend’s or parent’s house; this is where the abuser will look first in an attempt to locate you and coerce you into returning home.

Make sure to erase your search history if you use the internet at home to locate a shelter, just in case your abusive husband looks it up (which he probably will, to keep you under control). Use one of the public library’s computers to conduct your search in order to be safe.

How do you break away from someone who abuses you?

Getting away from domestic abuse can be quite challenging. To leave, it is best to seek assistance from trusted friends or relatives. For assistance, you can also consult an expert or counselor. When separated from their children, some victims find it easier to leave their abusers.

You’ll have more time to reflect on your goals and the kind of place you wish to live. Making the right decisions for you and your family is crucial.


It’s difficult to leave an abusive relationship. It requires a great deal of bravery and careful planning.

However, you have the right to exist without having to worry about abuse or violence. Your emotional and physical health is worth it, so start taking steps immediately to rescue yourself from the reign of horror that your abuser has subjected you to.