Are You Doomed To A Marriage Of Unhappily Ever After?

Most people enter marriage with rose-colored glasses on, especially when it comes to one other and the world. They are confident that their love will sustain them as they pursue their shared goal of living happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world (and each other) become less happy as time passes. Their union isn’t as joyful or enjoyable as they had hoped on their wedding day. They are left worried that perhaps their union would never work out or, worse yet, that they will join the 50% of married couples who divorce.

Don’t worry if any of this is terribly familiar to you. You are not doomed to an unhappy life or perhaps a divorce.

Your marriage can be joyful again, but it will require effort. So get ready to improve both you and your marriage by rolling up your sleeves.

If you’re determined to restore the joy to your marriage, stop doing these 19 things right away:

1. Talking on social media with your spouse.

The two of you are in a marriage. It’s not between the two of you and your entire friend and family list, your casual acquaintances, or that strange individual who friended you last week.

2. Simply hoping that everything would work out.

The idea that a successful marriage merely happens is among the biggest misconceptions that couples make. An effective marriage requires work, not inaction.

3. Engaging in activities that drain your emotions.

Anyone who does anything that exhausts them cannot survive, and their marriage cannot endure either. Find a strategy to alter the way you approach or complete an activity that is essential to your marriage and family if it tires you.

4. Stressing about uncontrollable circumstances.

Look, the only aspect of your life that you have any chance of managing is yourself. Nothing will change if you constantly worry about what your spouse is (or isn’t) doing. So don’t worry. Say what has to be said or do what needs to be done instead.

5. Reminiscing about previous mistakes.

Nothing will change if you live in the past and constantly think about the errors you or your spouse committed. Your marriage and your life are right now. Remember the history, but concentrate on the present.

6. Paying attention to what other couples do (or don’t do).

It’s a good idea to take marriage-building strategies from happy couples as inspiration for your own. However, it’s not a good idea if all you end up doing is contrasting your marriage with theirs. That will just make your sorrow worse.

7. Placing your marriage, your partner, or yourself last on your list of priorities.

What you focus on expands. There is no chance of success if you don’t take care of your marriage, your partner, and yourself.

8. Keeping secrets from your spouse.

Every successful marriage needs trust, it’s a given. In addition to the amazing surprise birthday party you’re organizing for your partner, you should question yourself why you feel the need to withhold certain aspects of your life from them. Most likely, the reason is detrimental to a happy marriage.

9. Forgetting to express appreciation to your spouse.

You should let your life partner know how much you value their presence in your life. Another approach to show them your affection for them is to let them know how grateful you are for them.

10. Being controlling.

It is impossible to force your partner to behave the way you think they ought to. You wed someone who is not your puppet (or worse, your slave), but someone who is married to you.

11. Believing that an action that failed in the past will succeed now.

You need to try several improvements in order to get your relationship back to bliss. Insanity, according to Einstein, is defined as “doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.”

12. Pretending you’re someone you’re not.

Too many people think that their marriage will succeed if they simply live up to their partner’s expectations of who they should be. If you behave in this way, your marriage might be successful for your spouse, but it will never be successful for you. Your greatest priority is to be really you.

13. Trying to change your mate.

We’ve all heard tales of people who married with the intention of altering their spouse, particularly women. Accept your honey for who they are; they won’t change unless they want to.

14. Believing you can please everyone.

You will never be able to satisfy everyone’s needs, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, stop making constant efforts to please your spouse, your in-laws, your parents, and your friends.

15. Taking your eyes off of the goal.

You intended to spend the rest of your life with your sweetheart when you married them. But you somehow failed to remember it, which is how you ended up in the situation you are in now. (However, I know you’re adjusting your sights because you’re reading this.)

16. Failing to ask how your marriage got to where it is today.

Yes, you must comprehend how your union came to be in order to prevent repeating the same errors in the future.

17. Ignoring your responsibilities.

It takes both of you working at it to make your marriage work. Making things better is not only their responsibility. You must carry out your responsibility to be the greatest spouse you can be.

18. Opting for short-term comfort above long-term gain.

Sure, it can be simpler to ignore the issue right now than to deal with it, but ignoring too many issues only leads to contempt. And bitterness is a marriage’s death knell.

19. Forgetting that how you think determines how you experience your marriage (and the world).

Your friend will act bothersome if you anticipate them acting annoyingly all the time. You’ll be more understanding and less defensive when your partner isn’t perfect at everything if you assume they are doing all they do with the best of intentions.

Your marriage didn’t go quickly from the honeymoon period to where you are now. The poor habits needed some time to establish themselves.

You’ll need to put some effort into this, so don’t expect to entirely and immediately remove all 19 of these tendencies.

Additionally, you can’t expect your spouse to appreciate your efforts for them right away. (See #19 up top.) They’ll likely initially be perplexed by the modifications you’re making. Heck, they might even feel agitated or threatened. But keep going. It will take time and work to get your marriage back on the brighter path to a happily ever after. The outcomes will undoubtedly be worth it if you stop the unhealthy habits that aren’t good for your marriage.