9 Ways to Manage the Ups and Downs in Your Relationship

Examples of Your Relationship Moving Forward and Backward

Feeling at once very intimate and close and other times quite far away and disconnected

Communication can be done in ways that make you feel heard, supported, and welcomed, and it can also be done in harsh, accusatory ways that make you feel unheard, disrespectful, and rejected.

Sometimes you’re successful at resolving disagreements and conflicts, while other times your efforts just seem to make things worse, leading to lingering disputes and conflicts.

Sometimes having sex feels fulfilling, passionate, and intimate, while other times it feels robotic, ordinary, and dull.

Sharing happiness, humor, and fun while occasionally pushing each other’s buttons

Having moments of peace and comfort with one another that could be abruptly disrupted by a fierce, violent argument that leaves you baffled and astonished and wondering “where’d that come from”

When you look at your spouse, you could feel as though you have found your soul mate, but other times you might be left wondering, “Who is this person and how did I end up with him/her?”

Rather of fiercely disputing about lifestyle and financial necessities and wants, you might agree on them.

Occasionally wanting to be alone, with friends, or even as far away from your lover as you can be, and other times wanting to spend as much time with them as you can.

Maybe you can consider these curves and ups and downs in the following way. On sometimes, traveling might help you arrive at your destination quickly and easily. The journey and the roads you travel on are as seamless as possible. Other times, traveling requires navigating rough, pothole-filled roads, bad weather, being rerouted due to construction, or being caught in protracted, tiresome traffic jams.

Sometimes the check-in and boarding procedures for air travel are as quick and easy as they possibly can be. The flight takes off on schedule, is as comfortable as it can be, and lands on schedule. Occasionally, flights are postponed or canceled. Or possibly there is a lot of turbulence on board. Life and travel are unpredictable and erratic. Certainly, relationships work like this as well.

Understanding How to Handle Ups and Downs in Your Relationship

Recognize that ups and downs and fluctuations are common and that they will undoubtedly occur.

As you manage the changes and curves, be gentle, patient, and compassionate to both yourself and your partner.

Consider your past and present growth by comparing them.

Register advancement indicators.

Address issues and concerns when they come up to prevent animosity from developing.

Maintain regular, honest, and open communication.

Ask friends’ opinions and expert counsel to help you view things objectively.

Accept accountability for your share in the relationship’s positives and negatives.

Allow yourself to experience your emotions, including those of joy, sadness, grief, relief, sorrow, loneliness, and rage.

I think back on my work with Ann and Charlotte, Loraine and Peter, Ken and Kim, all of whom came into my office with various relationship-related worries. They conveyed their anguish, rage, fear, and loneliness. They questioned what had happened to the joy, passion, and intimacy they had once experienced and felt unheard, uncared for, and unsupported.

Each couple gradually improved their ability to communicate, deal with their emotional issues, and create a relationship that is more supportive, caring, and understanding. They learned the tools to deal with the ups and downs in their relationship and grew to understand and accept them. I want you to know that you can also!