5 Relationship Practices to Follow When Life Hits You Hard

Navigate difficult times together

When you feel overwhelmed, what supports you both individually and as a couple? My spouse and I have found that taking care of our minds, bodies, and spirits, setting boundaries, accepting assistance, being nice, and making an effort to avoid comparisons are some crucial strategies we have utilized to get through challenging times.

During challenging circumstances, it is imperative to take care of your mind, body, and spirit.

How do you look after your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being? I’ve discovered that without places in my life where I can experience love, it is quite difficult to give love to others. If I want love to spill into other people, I have to fill my own cup. Simply said, self-care is how we take care of ourselves, and it’s something you can do both by yourself and with your partner. I’ve discovered that maintaining self-care routines that we both follow individually and collectively is crucial for the health of our marriage.

Assessing if you and your partner are having enough time to exercise self-care is also crucial. If one partner spends more time pursuing their own hobbies than the other, it can easily spiral into bitterness. Encourage your partner to take care of themselves if you are aware that they are stressed out and not taking care of themselves. When faced with difficulties, my spouse and I both have a tendency to forget about ourselves.

I urge Andrew to go for a stroll, listen to music, or work out since these are activities that fill his cup when I see he is not taking good care of himself. He is also excellent at reminding me when he sees me pushing myself too hard to take a break and treat myself. Andrew has noticed that one of my favorite little but effective self-care rituals is asking me if I have had any conversations with pals during the day. We should make time for a date night since it’s an opportunity for us to all practice self-care by going to our favorite local Mexican restaurant. Therefore, it is crucial for partnerships to have mechanisms for both individuals and groups to practice self-care.

Setting boundaries are imperative when you are facing stress

Being helpful may be both a blessing and a curse for my spouse and me. We both like giving back to our communities and family. Apart from his full-time employment, Andrew volunteers as an emergency medical technician and fireman and holds an officer position on the board of our local emergency services. In my capacity as a chaplain, yoga instructor, and counselor, I also like helping people. We both know that we have a propensity to overdo things in our volunteer, professional, and familial lives. If we’re not careful, we could become so wrapped up in taking care of other people that we forget about our marriage and our personal needs.

We’ve discovered that in order to say yes to our marriage and to ourselves, there are some evenings and weekends when we have to say no to other people. It could take some effort and deliberate practice to say no if you find it difficult. If you are a chronic helper, you should consider whether the time you need for yourself and your relationship is being compromised by your obligations to a career, volunteer work, board, religious group, or other relationships. You’ll also undoubtedly notice that you’ll have more passion and heart to provide in your job, family, and community activities when you take time for yourself and your spouse.

Can we rely on others for support and care?

I enjoy helping loved ones and buying gifts for them, but I’ve found that receiving assistance and kind gifts is harder for me than it is for me to provide them. We can develop when we accept love, just as we can grow spiritually and emotionally when we learn to love others. When you and your partner are facing difficult times, can you both get support from your loved ones?

Andrew and I recently got back from a trip that was life-saving, but we really debated not going because his parents are in dire need of assistance right now due to serious health issues. Though there are three of them, only Andrew resides in the same neighborhood as his parents. Since we didn’t want to force anyone to come along, we thought about calling off our trip because both of his siblings reside several hours away. To make sure his parents’ needs were met, Andrew decided to ask his siblings if they could come and stay at our place. His brother and sister were more than delighted to comply. However, we realized we were both tired and needed the getaway. Because of the sacrifice this meant for his siblings, we both experienced a pang of guilt, but we also came to the realization that they genuinely wanted to help and that it was crucial for us to benefit from their kindness. As a result, in addition to learning the art of giving love, we are also practicing the spiritual skill of receiving love.

Being kind and gentle to one another is essential.

Do you provide your partner the same consideration and care that you give other people in your life? Regretfully, we tend to be especially harsh with the people we care about the most. I am aware that when I’m under stress, I often transfer my rage, anxiety, and grief onto my devoted spouse.

Andrew and I got into a fight about which way to go from Salt Lake City to Jackson Hole on the first day of our most recent vacation. While he preferred the more picturesque route, I preferred the quicker and more straightforward route. Because of how absurd and stubborn we were both behaving, our dispute might have easily been a scene in a comedy series.

Fortunately, we both stopped to consider why we were being so nasty to each other and realized that it didn’t really matter which way we went. The true problem was that we were exhausted, and by being open and honest about the causes of our weariness, we were able to have a meaningful discussion about the negative effects that all of our present stressors are having on us. We also agreed to practice mindfulness in order to interact with each other more gently and non-reactively. Intentionally showing grace to each other can have a profound impact on our connection. When we discussed our deepest concerns and resolved to treat each other with grace, our vacation took a drastically different path.

Comparing our partner with others may result in mental or physical adultery.

My heart melted when I saw the way Harry was staring at Meghan on a news program covering the major occasion the weekend of Meghan and Harry’s wedding. Harry was obviously in love with his bride. “I wish you looked at me like that,” I remarked to my husband as I turned to face him. My statements were not a very loving approach to express my yearning for romance as soon as they left my mouth. I was also reminded that in a relationship, comparison might be the death kiss. What Makes Love Last? is an engaging book.According to study presented by John Gottman in How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal<span style=”font-weight: 400″>, people who make negative comparisons between their partner and another person are more likely to become unfaithful.

I am aware that when I am going through difficult times, I am far more likely to compare my husband negatively. Humans have a natural desire to strive to control or find perfection in other people when our lives feel chaotic and out of control. A celebrity, coworker, friend, or ex-boyfriend can more easily win our attention because we don’t argue with them as much, which makes them the more desirable object of our affections. We also have a tendency to argue more with our partners during difficult times.

It is crucial to be aware of if you are making negative comparisons to your spouse. Have you recently found yourself wondering how your partner compares to someone else? If we find ourselves comparing our partner to a former partner, a work colleague, Prince Harry, or even Princess Meghan, we may be headed down a path that leads to emotional or physical adultery. It’s critical to focus on the gifts our partner possesses rather than making unfavorable comparisons between them and other people. Prince Harry or Princess Meghan are most likely already in our lives. We just need to make a conscious effort to focus on our partner’s numerous talents rather than dwelling on their flaws and who else might be able to provide us with more. Spend some time reflecting on the reasons you fell in love, and make a conscious effort not to judge your partner.

Last point to remember

What difficulties have you and your spouse encountered lately as you navigate life’s journey? Everybody experiences immense adversity throughout their life, and having a companion to share these struggles with is truly a blessing. But if we don’t make a conscious effort to maintain and grow the relationship, we run the risk of losing the one who matters most to us. I’m throwing down the gauntlet to you and your partner: commit to self-care, establish healthy boundaries, accept assistance from others, show kindness, and avoid comparing one another. Prince Harry and Princess Meghan won’t be the only couple living happily ever after if you fulfill this promise.