3 Toxic Communication Habits That Will Destroy Your Marriage

Let’s look at some strategies and destructive communication patterns that may be undermining your link and destroying relationships.

1. Serving as the scorekeeper

Although it’s a well-known no-no, many partnerships have harmful communication habits. It’s one of the behaviors that can ruin a marriage. Whether it’s sensuality, parenting duties, or housework, numbers are frequently added up in the back of our minds. Your partner’s communication with you will be more resentful whether you express them clearly or keep the tallies to yourself.

There may be a more serious problem if you are becoming irate with your spouse because you prepared dinner five times last week but they only succeeded twice. Does it matter who makes dinner? Instead of holding them accountable for their lack of participation, work to find a solution that prevents a conscious or unconscious score from being kept. Perhaps try cooking in unison?

Above all, you ought to approach your relationship as a collaboration rather than a game of “What have you done for me lately?” At all costs, steer clear of unpleasant or inadequate communication in partnerships.

In a marriage, there will be moments when you put in more effort and moments when your spouse does the majority of the work. Instead of monitoring and boasting about your metrics, adopt more effective communication techniques and trust that your mutual efforts will equally contribute to the success of your partnership.

2. Aggression without violence

An essential component of a successful marriage is open and sincere communication. Aggression, or passive communication, is one of the harmful communication patterns and is nearly the exact opposite.

It’s easy to end up frustrated and irritated with your partner if you try to use subliminal cues to acquire what you want. You’ll become agitated since your signals aren’t making the desired impact. Furthermore, your partner will become angrier since they won’t understand why you’re irritated with them. All of this will eventually result in harmful communication patterns on both sides.

Rather than using passive-aggressive communication patterns, you can quickly resolve your passive-aggressive issues by talking in relationships with clear and productive requests.

Do you believe the trash should be removed?

Aggressive yet passive No-no Does the kitchen have a smell? There seems to be a slight stench outside. Maybe there’s too much trash in there.

Simple request: “Hello, The kitchen stinks, I believe. Could you please remove the trash? I believe that might be the offender. It would be greatly appreciated.

Are you attempting to end the current phase of no sex?

Aggressive yet passive No-no: “Maybe I’d be less tense and want to do fun things with you if we had sex once in a while.”

Unambiguous request: “I feel like we don’t have enough sex.” I feel more intimate with you when we have sex, yet I feel distant otherwise.

One of the poisonous communication styles that genuinely creates a lose-lose scenario is passive-aggressiveness. It might work in the short run, but the long-term consequences are disastrous. Over time, your partner won’t be too fond of your persistently subtle criticism. If there is something you’re not happy with, it’s much better to be honest and forthright about it.

3. The “I’m fine” curse

Perhaps you don’t want to share your awful day with your lover. Maybe you want them to make more of an effort to learn the truth. Perhaps all you’re attempting to do is remain composed and strong.

Despite your best efforts, you are succumbing to unwinnable poisonous relationship behaviors. How many people you know could honestly say, “I’m fine,” when they were in your presence?

I am at a loss for ideas.

There are two issues with this destructive communication pattern:

Your partner isn’t allowed inside so they can support you through anything you’re going through.
You’ll be much more angry if you’re expecting them to keep trying to help and they give up. You alone, however, are at fault.

Saying what’s on your mind is preferable to being a bad communicator. Don’t leave it up to your partner’s limited resources to figure out the riddle.

If you’ve been married for a long time, you could have grown to believe that your spouse ought to be aware of your emotional state. Perhaps they are too engrossed in their feelings and are having a bad day themselves. Perhaps they are not able to comprehend.

Being honest with your partner about your feelings is the only way you’ll likely receive the love and support you desire. It facilitates comprehension and resolution of the issue.

Attachment Trauma Therapist Alan Robarge says it’s critical to speak honestly and candidly in order to identify the dynamics of disrespect in relationships: To enhance the quality of your relationships, avoid engaging in any toxic communication patterns or routines. Honesty and openness are prerequisites for effective communication. In a marriage, being a passive-aggressive partner can be detrimental. In the end, it might send your relationship down a bitter spiral. Make sure that doesn’t happen to you and your partner.